by DAVID WHITAKER
first broadcast - 23rd December 1967
running time - 23mins 45secs
(The TARDIS fades into existence. The DOCTOR, JAMIE and VICTORIA step out onto the beach to be greeted by crashing waves and a seashore.)
JAMIE: Where are we, Doctor?
DOCTOR: We're by the seaside, that's where we are. That's all that matters.
JAMIE: Aye, but where?
VICTORIA: Yes Doctor, we must know.
DOCTOR: Oh, stop fussing, you two, come on.
(The DOCTOR runs for the water.)
Come on, you two. No wait a minute. See if there's any buckets and spades in the TARDIS.
(The DOCTOR takes off his shoes and socks and paddles in the sea.)
JAMIE: Buckets and spades? Is he going to dig for worms?
VICTORIA: No, he wants us to play sand castles.
JAMIE: Sand castles? What does he think we are, a couple of children?
(On board a nearby hovercraft out at sea one of the three-men crew spots the DOCTOR jumping up and down on the shore.)
ANTON: Hey, Rod, pass me them binoculars.
ROD: Now what's biting you?
ANTON: Some crazy nut dancing a jig.
(He peers through the binoculars.)
Hey, wait a minute.
(He peers closer at the DOCTOR through the binoculars.)
It can't be.
(To the other two men.) Get below fast, both of you.
ROD: What's the matter?
(Meanwhile the DOCTOR is still jumping up and down in the sea.)
DOCTOR: Come on in, the water lovely. You don't know what you're missing.
VICTORIA: Doctor! You'll catch you're death.
(The Doctor kicks and stubs his toe on a rock and Jamie laughs.)
(ROD is looking through the binoculars at the DOCTOR.)
ROD: Well what do you know? You're right, it is him.
ANTON: What are we going to do?
(ASTRID Ferrier, a woman in her early thirties and dressed in a black jump suit is sitting on a desk working on some papers. Her communicator bleeps and she switches it on.)
ANTON: (oov) This is Anton.
ASTRID: Where are you?
ANTON: (oov) Ten miles west of Cape Harod. Now listen.
ASTRID: Wait a minute.
(She checks the location of the hovercraft on the map on her desk.)
What are you doing there?
ANTON: (oov) What do you think we're doing, fishing?
ASTRID: I shouldn't be surprised.
ANTON: (oov) Oh yeah. We'll this time we've caught a whale. HE'S here!
ASTRID: (Surprised) Well that's physically impossible.
ANTON: (oov) It's him all right, there's no shadow of doubt about it.
ASTRID: Oh no, you're making a mistake, you must be.
ANTON: (oov) Now listen, there are three of us here. We've all had a look.
ASTRID: Well if you're that definite I'll contact Giles.
ANTON: (oov) No! We'll take care of this ourselves.
ASTRID: Listen, Anton, you'll do nothing without Giles' agreement.
ANTON: (oov) There isn't time!
ASTRID: Make time.
ANTON: (oov) If you think I'm going to pass up a chance like this, you're crazy.
ASTRID: Well at least wait 'till I get there.
(But the communicator goes dead.)
(The three men draw out guns...)
(ASTRID and her boss GILES KENT talk via the communicator and we cut from one to the other as they spoke.)
ASTRID: Giles that's just what I said. How could it be him?
KENT: It's a mistake, it must be.
ASTRID: Yes, I know, but he was definite. He's going to kill him.
KENT: I don't care. Get after them, stop them!
ASTRID: But Giles what can I do?
KENT: Look, I don't care what you do Astrid, but stop them!
(The DOCTOR has come out of the sea and has put his shoes back on.)
DOCTOR: Oh, there's nothing like a dip to freshen you up.
(JAMIE spots the hovercraft rushing towards them.)
JAMIE: Hey, that's a funny looking boat.
DOCTOR: It's not a boat, it's a hovercraft.
JAMIE: (Puzzled) Eh?
DOCTOR: It's a hovercraft. It floats on the air instead of the sea.
JAMIE: (Disbelieving) Oh, yes, I see. I'm too old for fairy tales.
DOCTOR: No it's true, Jamie.
VICTORIA: (Hearing its roar.) A terrifying thing. It's like a sea monster.
JAMIE: Oh, we'll soon get a closer look, it's coming nearer.
DOCTOR: (Catching sight of what those three men are carrying.) Oh yes. Yes. I don't think I like the look of this. Let's go.
VICTORIA: Why, what's the matter?
DOCTOR: Come on, run.
JAMIE: Yeah, but...
DOCTOR: Don't argue, run. Come on. Come on!
(Behind them the three men start to open fire on the TARDIS team and they start to rush up the cliff. ANTON, ROD and the other man climb out of the hovercraft and rushes after them, firing all the time. The three time travellers stop under a sand bank.)
JAMIE: If only we had a gun!
VICTORIA: But why would they want to harm us?
DOCTOR: Why indeed? What now?
VICTORIA: Look Doctor, can't we go back to the TARDIS?
DOCTOR: No, we'd never make it. There's not much cover here.
VICTORIA: Perhaps we've landed in a world of mad men.
DOCTOR: They're human beings, if that's what you mean. Indulging their favourite past time - trying to destroy each other. Time we went, come on.
(They carried on running. Suddenly ROD comes out of nowhere and aims his gun at them......)
JAMIE: Creag an tuire!
(JAMIE leaps onto ROD and punches the man unconscious.)
VICTORIA: Oh, well done.
(Another noise is heard - that of a helicopter.)
JAMIE: What's that?
(The helicopter was also spotted by the pursers.)
CURLY: I know those markings, that's Astrid's runabout. What's she doing here?
ANTON: Interfering. We've got to get to him before she does.
(They re-load their guns and the chase continues. ASTRID spots the three time travellers and lands her helicopter near them.)
JAMIE: What is it, Doctor?
VICTORIA: Oh, I'm frightened!
(ASTRID waves at them from the helicopter.)
ASTRID: Over here! Run!
VICTORIA: I can't! I can't!
DOCTOR: You must, it's our only chance.
(The three start to run.)
DOCTOR: Come on!
(The three arrive at the helicopter and climb into the small cock-pit. Behind them the three gunmen arrive and see what is happening. ANTON roars with rage and while the helicopter takes off, the three men start to fire at the helicopter and one of the shots hits the fuel line of the helicopter and liquid starts of leak out. ANTON pulls down the guns of the other two men and the three starts to rush back to their hovercraft.)
DOCTOR: A very timely and welcome rescue.
ASTRID: (Struggling with the controls.) Don't speak to me for a moment, please.
JAMIE: But what is this thing, Doctor?
DOCTOR: It's a helicopter, Jamie.
DOCTOR: A chopper. You know, a whirly bird.
JAMIE: (To VICTORIA.) He say's it's a bird!
DOCTOR: No, no, no. It's a primitive form of flying machine.
VICTORIA: Well at least we're safe now, aren't we?
ASTRID: (Overhearing this.) Depends on what you mean by been safe. They've shot a hole in the fuel tank. We might blow up any minute.
(JAMIE and VICTORIA look at each other in horror.)
(The three gunmen arrive back at the hovercraft and with ANTON pushing the others in an effort to make them to hurry up. The hovercraft rushes back out to sea in an effort to catch up with the helicopter.)
(Footage of the hovercraft and helicopter.)
(The helicopter now is over a small bungalow.)
ASTRID: Here we go.
(The helicopter gently touches down.)
(JAMIE and VICTORIA climb out of the helicopter and heads towards the house. The DOCTOR, however, notices that ASTRID is clutching her shoulder.)
DOCTOR: Wait, you're hurt.
ASTRID: It's nothing. We're lucky to be still alive.
DOCTOR: Jamie, give her a hand.
(ASTRID leans on JAMIE as they enter the Bungalow.)
(The Bungalow is comfortably furnished.)
DOCTOR: Come along inside.
ASTRID: I'm all right.
(She stops leaning on JAMIE.)
DOCTOR: Now let's have a look at it. You're not, and please don't argue. Victoria, bring some warm water will you.
VICTORIA: (Looking around.) Well where's the kitchen?
ASTRID: Through the arch. There's a medical kit in the bathroom, through there.
DOCTOR: Go and fetch it, will you Jamie.
(He moves forward in order to get the kit.)
DOCTOR: Come and sit down.
ASTRID: It's nothing. It's just a scratch.
DOCTOR: We'll see.
(ASTRID sits down and the DOCTOR examines the wound.)
ASTRID: Who are you?
DOCTOR: You mean you don't know?
ASTRID: No, why should I?
DOCTOR: Well you went to such a great deal of trouble to save us.
(JAMIE reappears with the kit and gives it to the DOCTOR.)
Ah, there we are. Thank you, Jamie.
ASTRID: Do you know how to use those things?
JAMIE: Oh, don't worry, the Doctor will fix you up just fine.
ASTRID: (While the DOCTOR dresses the wound.) Oh, you're a Doctor?
DOCTOR: Well not of any medical significance.
ASTRID: Doctor of law? Philosophy?
DOCTOR: Which law? Whose philosophies, eh?
ASTRID: Oh I see, you're determined to be mysterious.
DOCTOR: Am I?
ASTRID: Um, Doctor of science?
DOCTOR: Septic spray, (The DOCTOR sprays the wound.) that should be right.
ASTRID: A Doctor of divinity then?
DOCTOR: You'll run out of Doctors in a minute. Now, you haven't told us your name yet.
ASTRID: Astrid Ferrier.
DOCTOR: Ah, Miss Ferrier, this is Victoria and this is Jamie. Now this won't take a minute... just want to clean it off... be as gentle as I can.
(The DOCTOR cleans the wound and then binds it with a handkerchief.)
There we are. Who are these men? Why are they so determined to kill us?
ASTRID: Kill you. They hate you.
DOCTOR: (An amazed look appears on the DOCTOR's face.) Me? I'm the nicest possible person.
ASTRID: Or at least I should say they hate the person that they think you are. Passionately and completely.
VICTORIA: Can't we tell them they've made a mistake?
ASTRID: There wouldn't be time.
DOCTOR: They seem remarkably dedicated.
ASTRID: They are.
(The DOCTOR finishes dressing ASTRID's wound.)
Tell me, Miss Ferrier, do you hate me?
ASTRID: Far from it. To me your the most wonderful and marvelous man that's ever dropped out of the skies. Will you do something for me.
DOCTOR: Anything, anything at all.
ASTRID: It will probably cost you you're life!
(A worried and regretful look appears on the DOCTOR's face.)
Oh, but it would be worth it.
DOCTOR: Oh that's... that's comforting anyway. What is it that you want me to do?
ASTRID: Let me take you to the man I work for, Giles Kent. He'll explain everything you want to know.
(The DOCTOR stands up.)
DOCTOR: I don't think so, Miss Ferrier. No, I'm sorry.
JAMIE: Um, can we not just listen, Doctor? There's no harm in that.
DOCTOR: There's a great deal of harm in it. You don't suppose Miss Ferrier saved our skins for our sakes, do you? Now what is it you want us for?
ASTRID: You resemble very closely a man who is determined to be dictator of the world. A man who will stop at nothing.
VICTORIA: A dictator? Like Napoleon?
DOCTOR: Who is he?
ASTRID: I know it's surprising. Let me take you to Giles Kent.
(The hovercraft noise arrives and is now can be heard by everybody.)
VICTORIA: Oh you're not going to agree?
(ASTRID realises who it is.....)
ASTRID: The back door! Hurry!
(The DOCTOR looks out the window to see the three gunmen rushing towards the house and throw themselves against the door.)
DOCTOR: It's too late!
ASTRID: In there!
(Even as they reached the glass patio doors, the third gunman appeared, rifle at the ready, on the paved terrace at the back of the bungalow. ASTRID runs back and slipped behind the arch dividing the long L-shaped room. The DOCTOR has already pulled VICTORIA and JAMIE behind a large couch. Warily the gunman enters the room. As he reached the arch, ASTRID grabbed his arm with her good hand and threw him over her shoulder. JAMIE broke cover and seized the rifle as the gunman hit the floor.)
Run for it!
(All of them ran for the broken patio door as the main front door was punched off it hinges by the other two men. The gunman is struggling to stand up but ROD, who is firing wildly his gun at anybody, hits the third man in the chest who collapses in a pool of blood.)
(Outside the patio, JAMIE helps ASTRID again who is weak from doing the karate chop.)
JAMIE: Come on! Miss Ferrier, come on!
(ANTON arrives into the doorway of the bathroom and ROD is looking down in horror at the body of the third man.)
ROD: But I... He was framed against the window. I saw him, he was trying to get out!
ANTON: No time now, they'll get away!
ROD: (Looking out the patio window.) There they are!
ANTON: Wait! If we can get up in the air above them we can finish this. Now let's get to that helicopter!
(The four run outside but stop when ASTRID hears the sound of the helicopter start up.)
ASTRID: The helicopter.
(ANTON and ROD start up the helicopter and take off but the fuel pipe is still leaking.)
(ASTRID sees the fuel-pipe leaking more and more...)
ASTRID: It'll blow up!
(ANTON aims his gun at the four figures on the ground..... As the leaking fuel spark and the helicopter blows up and the wreckage falls to the ground.....)
(Some time later, KENT is walking around the DOCTOR with an amazed look on his face while the DOCTOR has a face which is say "Just what is going on?")
KENT: Incredible. Absolutely incredible.
DOCTOR: I'm not a specimen in a glass bowl, you know?
KENT: Ah, I'm sorry. Do sit down.
DOCTOR: (Sitting down.) Oh, thank you.
KENT: It's just so astonishing. You are Salamander.
ASTRID: Do you see what I mean?
KENT: But surely you know how alike you are? After all, Salamander is a world figure.
DOCTOR: Well... well my friends and I, we've been out of touch... with civilisation for a while. We're visitors, so to speak, um. On ice shall we say.
KENT: I see. Where shall I start?
DOCTOR: At the beginning please. We've been subjected to a number of attacks because I look like this Salamander of yours.
KENT: I'm not surprised. I'll show you why. I have a video wire of Salamander, addressing the United Zones Conference on World Food.
(On the screen in KENT's office a picture of a man carrying a microphone appears and behind him is a huge crowd.)
REPORTER: (oov) And meanwhile over at the United Zones General Assembly, from all over the world delegates are flocking in, eager to hear the latest report from Leader Salamander.
(And then... a man appears on a platform... He is the DOCTOR but yet it isn't...... The black hair is neatly gelled down and not the usual mess. And intend of the black frock-coat, he is wearing a suit that looks like he is a king or royalty. He speaks in a Mexican accent...)
SALAMANDER: (oov) The progress, Mr President, of the Sun Conservation establishment at Kanowa, in the Australasian Zone, (The sight of SALAMANDER raises cries of surprise from the three TARDIS travellers.) is I'm delighted to report highly satisfactory.
But we cannot yet guarantee good summer holidays for all.
However, we have now in orbit the Mark VII Sun Catcher and already we have been able to concentrate the sun's rays into much needed areas. The great Canadian wheat plains are safe.
And now, Mr President; Ukraine - the grain field of the planet. An unfortunate area between Bucava and Kirovograd devastated by the elements two short years ago. What have I got to say to you about that? I can tell you that on both banks of the Dnieper river the corn is ripening in the sun! And ten-thousand robot harvesters are moving down to gather in fifty-million tons of flour!
(more applause as the video ends.)
VICTORIA: There's nothing there to say he's a bad man.
DOCTOR: I quite agree, Victoria. He seems to be a public benefactor. Quite a speaker too and remarkably handsome, didn't you think so Jamie?
KENT: He's one of the most popular men on the planet. Many people call him the shopkeeper of the world. The saviour, in fact, some of them.
JAMIE: Well what's he saved the world from?
ASTRID: Starvation. Too many people, too little food.
KENT: Until Salamander invented his Sun Store. Surely you've heard? You must know?
DOCTOR: Oh yes, well of course we've heard something.
KENT: The Sun Store collects the rays from the sun and stores them in concentrated form.
JAMIE: Oh, like the ioniser, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yes, a rather different principle I think, Jamie.
VICTORIA: Well never mind how it works! What's it for?
KENT: Salamander can force grow three, sometimes four, crops in one summer.
JAMIE: Well why do these men want to kill him. I mean, one minute you say he's saving the world, the next...
KENT: For his own ends! Step by step he's taking control of this planet.
DOCTOR: You have proof of this?
KENT: Some, yes. I was once a high official in the World Zone Authority. Deputy Security Leader for North Africa and Europe, but Salamander discredited and ruined me because he realized I was beginning to get suspicious.
DOCTOR: But you could be making up stories about Salamander! Out of revenge.
KENT: Yes, I suppose so. Then you can judge for yourself. You remember Michael Assevski - he was Controller of the Eastern European Zone? He was drowned at sea a mile from shore. Hockingham murdered! All of them were seen with Salamander, or a man known as he's deputy, shortly before their deaths.
ASTRID: All of them were replaced by men known to be in Salamander's power.
DOCTOR: Known by who?
KENT: By me, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Well why don't you tell the authorities, the police or whatever?
KENT: Because I'm discredited, don't you see? Because Salamander is so popular and also because the man that took my place, a man named Donald Bruce, has since risen to become overall security chief.
DOCTOR: Surely there is someone you can take your story to?
KENT: Ah yes, Helvig believed me. So did Assevski, and they're dead. However there is one other man, a man named Alexander Denes, but none of them will do anything until it's too late!
VICTORIA: I'm surprised. Well if Salamander is everything you say he is, then why hasn't he tried to...
KENT: Dispose of me?
KENT: Well he has, but he's afraid. You see the testimony of a dead man still holds legal weight.
DOCTOR: Oh, I see.
(To his companions) Well, it seems we have a problem on our hands whether to believe Mr Kent or not.
KENT: Well there is one way that you can find out for yourselves.
DOCTOR: Oh, how?
ASTRID: Impersonate Salamander.
DOCTOR: Yes I thought that's what we were leading up to.
JAMIE: Well I must admit, Doctor, you do look like him.
VICTORIA: Exactly like him.
DOCTOR: Yes, there's more to it than that. What about the voice?
ASTRID: Well it's nearly the same pitch, only the accent.
DOCTOR: Only the accent! My dear young lady. Oh dear. Now what was it he said... We still cannot guarantee good summer holidays for all. No. Guarantee... no, no, no... guaran... guarantee. You see, it's very difficult. Hmm, of course I always was interested in phonetics. Holidays... summer... summer. He must have come from Mexico, Quintana Roo or Yucatan or somewhere...
KENT:That's incredible, Doctor, he was born at Merida, state capital of Yucatan.
DOCTOR: Yes, there are other very strong influences though. Oh, I could do it in time. But what if I did it, what then?
KENT: You could walk into Salamander's research station at Kanowa. Find out how he's getting control of the separate World Zones and then bring out absolute proof.
(The communicator on his desk buzzes. He picks up the phone and speaks into it.)
Yes. I see.
(He puts the phone down and turns to the DOCTOR.)
How long did you say it would take you to master Salamander's accent?
DOCTOR: I didn't. It would take three weeks, perhaps four.
KENT: Well while we've been talking the Security Chief I told you about, Donald Bruce, has since cordoned off this entire area. He's coming here himself. Now! I'd say you've got about two minutes, Doctor.
DOCTOR: (Furious) But that's out of the question!
KENT: You know what he'll do as soon as he sees you, a man who resembles Salamander so closely?
VICTORIA: Oh that's not fair!
KENT: Will you please listen! You'll be under arrest for impersonation as soon as he sees you. I mean it.
DOCTOR: But isn't there another way out of this?
KENT: Only one - be Salamander.
VICTORIA: But the Clothes!
KENT: (Opening a cupboard.) Yes, there are some in here. A little less eccentric, but do the best you can.
DOCTOR: I won't! I can't!
KENT: Your friends, Doctor, do you want them to suffer? Because they will, you know.
DOCTOR: (Thinks) No, wait a minute! Why is a man like Bruce coming here?
KENT: Don't push me, there isn't time.
DOCTOR: (Rounding on KENT.) You sent for him, didn't you? You tipped him off!
KENT: I couldn't miss an opportunity like this, now please come on.
ASTRID: Giles, for heaven's sake, what have you done? It's far too risky.
(The DOCTOR shoves the DOCTOR into the cupboard room and shuts the door just as the main door to the room burst open and BRUCE, a big man wearing glasses walks into the room.)
BRUCE: Hello Kent, doing some recruiting are you? A bit young for killers, aren't they?
VICTORIA: What do you mean?
KENT: All right, what do you mean by stepping in here like this?
BRUCE: Anytime, Kent. I've got the right and you know it. Anytime I like.
KENT: All right, what do you want?
BRUCE: That's better, you're ex-security, you know the way it's got to go. We might as well be nice and civil about it, mightn't we?
(He turns to ASTRID.) That bungalow in Cedar District, in your name, right?
BRUCE: Do I have to tell you? There's been an awful nasty mess out there. Someone has got himself shot in your living room.
(He notices VICTORIA and JAMIE.)
And who are you two?
JAMIE: Jamie McCrimmon.
JAMIE: (Jumping in) Victoria Waterfield.
BRUCE: (To VICTORIA.) What's the matter, can't you speak?
VICTORIA: (Looking straight at BRUCE and speaks in a no-nonsense voice.) Don't shout at me.
BRUCE: Oh, very good, the outraged public citizen.
(To KENT.) Do they know who I am?
KENT: Yes they do.
BRUCE: A pity, I like to hear you say it. Now listen to this, all of you. One of your men was murdered in a bungalow rented to you. The remains of two others were found in what was left of a helicopter. You were in that bungalow at the time. And there were three other people with you, two youngsters and a man. Right?
(Nobody says a word.)
Now, there was another man, wasn't there? So we'll deal with that first. Where is he?
(The DOCTOR walks in. He now wears one of SALAMANDER's suits and has his hair wetted down in an attempt to make it looked gelled. He notice BRUCE, who is looked surprised, and walks up to him.)
DOCTOR: Why, hello Bruce, what are you doing here, eh?
Doctor Who / Salamander
Title Music by
and the BBC Radiophonic Workshop
LEE HORTON (LeeH@tcp.co.uk)
CHRIS MOORE (Cmoore4@compuserve.com)
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