first broadcast - 9th April 1966
running time - 24mins 45secs


(STEVEN and DODO have defeated CLARA and JOEY. At the far end of the toyroom, one of the walls lights up and a police box appears. They cautiously move across the room and examine it only to discover that it is not the real TARDIS.)

DODO: (with disbelief) It can't be empty!

STEVEN: It is. Look.

(Just the square outline of an empty police telephone box is inside.)

DODO: What's that?

(DODO bends down and picks up a piece of paper from the floor and reads it.)

DODO: "Four legs, no feet, of arms no lack, it carries no burden on its back. Six deadly sisters, seven for choice, call the servants without voice." What does it mean?

STEVEN: A riddle. Look, here's a way out.

(The back of the police box swings open.)

DODO: Perhaps this is to tell us where the TARDIS is.

STEVEN: (shrugging) Or perhaps it's just another game. Anyway, we've got to find out.

(STEVEN goes through the opening. DODO remains behind and looks back at the two clowns. All she sees are two, small, twisted clown figures, now the size of dolls. Shocked, she turns and runs quickly after STEVEN.)

DODO: This is the next game?

STEVEN: No. We'll find the next game behind this door.

(STEVEN waves his hand at her, motioning to a large door at the back of the police box.)

DODO: How can you be sure?

STEVEN: (nodding) Look.

(STEVEN points to the center of the door where there is a panel showing the DOCTOR's tally recorder. The top line reads 1,023 and the bottom reads 415.)

DODO: The Doctor's move recorder for his game.

STEVEN: Yes, I know. This door is here to delay us.

(The door is covered with many bolts and locks. STEVEN and DODO undo them.)

I think we're meant to try to get it open. The Toymaker is hoping that we'll waste time.

(They finish unbolting the locks.)

Whew! That should do it.

(STEVEN pushes the door.)

It won't open.

DODO: But it must.

(DODO throws her body against the door, but it does not give.)

(impatiently) What's wrong with it? I know, let's pull instead.

(Each one grabs hold of a bolt and pulls. The door slowly creaks open. A bit of bright light falls across their faces, and they move towards it in amazement. They enter a large medieval throne room. The walls are decorated with elaborate tapestries, the floors are thickly carpeted, and four throne-like chairs are before them. Each is different but all have intricate carvings. All have a red cushion, and each chair is numbered one to four.)


(With only his hand visible, the DOCTOR continues the game.)

DOCTOR: (chuckling with satisfaction) I haven't made a mistake yet.

TOYMAKER: (materializing before him) Let's hope not, Doctor. I would hate you to end up in my dolls' house.

(He looks over to one of the Victorian doll's house.)

I reserve that fate for your two friends.

DOCTOR: (confidently) They'll win, too.

TOYMAKER: No, they will lose one game, and then like the clowns, they'll become my toys, and we shall be able to amuse ourselves through all eternity.

DOCTOR: What do you mean?

TOYMAKER: You remember the agreement? They must find your TARDIS before you finish your game. If they don't, then you will have to stay here, and you'll be in my power forever. Look. They've already reached their next test.

DOCTOR: That game? I might have known.

(talking into the monitor) Steven! Dodo! Take care. It's chair number--

(THE CELESTIAL TOYMAKER cuts off the interconnecting sound. He is very angry.)

TOYMAKER: You fool! Now I have been forced to make you dumb as well as intangible. You cannot speak until you have reached the second-to-last move of the trilogic game. Now then, let them play their games whilst you play yours.

(to the game pieces in a high-pitched voice) Go from move 444!

(to the DOCTOR) And no more clever tricks, if you please.

(The DOCTOR's hand moves toward the game board.)

Your friends managed to outwit my clowns. I shall have to find more worthy opponents for them.

(He picks up a deck of cards and spreads them out on his desk.)

There! I think perhaps the Heart family. They have great experience in a great variety of games.

(The TOYMAKER disappears.)


(STEVEN and DODO are roaming around the room, examining everything in it.)

STEVEN: The Doctor was trying to warn us.

(As STEVEN speaks, the TOYMAKER materializes before them.)

TOYMAKER: (sharply and curtly) I'm seriously annoyed with your friend. Once again, he tried to talk to you, so I've had to deprive him of his voice. Let it be a warning to you. Play the games according to the rules I set, or give up now.

STEVEN: The rules you set??!! Your own players break them. They cheat!

DODO: How can we believe anything you say? Everything here is so strange.

STEVEN: We can't even be certain that that was the Doctor's voice we heard before. It could be you leading us toward another trap.

TOYMAKER: (smiling) I'm glad to see you're at last treating me with respect.

DODO: Only as long as you have the Doctor. After that, we'll see--

(The TOYMAKER disappears.)

STEVEN: Forget it, Dodo, he's gone.

(looking around) What odd looking chairs. Perhaps these are what the Doctor was trying to warn us about.

(As STEVEN and DODO stare at the spot where the TOYMAKER stood, two people enter. They are two full-sized King and Queen of Hearts, like playing cards. The QUEEN is tall and haughty looking. The KING is short and heavy-set and has a slightly bewildered yet friendly expression.)

QUEEN: (to the KING, as she enters the room) Is this the room?

(The KING does not respond.)

Is this the room, I said.

KING: (looking around, muttering) I think so, my dear, uh hmm.

QUEEN: (with obvious distaste) And I suppose these are the people we have to play against.

KING: Hmm?

(glancing around and then shuffling over to DODO and STEVEN) Oh! Oh! Peasants, my dear, hmm.

QUEEN: Peasants!

STEVEN: (very insulted) Just a minute. Who do you think you're calling a peasant?

DODO: (taking his arm) Steven, don't you see who they are?

STEVEN: Well, yes, they do look familiar.

DODO: (cheerfully) They're playing cards! We shall play our next game with a couple of playing cards!

STEVEN: (glumly) The Toymaker's warped sense of humor, I suppose.

(The KING and the QUEEN, meanwhile, are looking over the chairs.)

QUEEN: None of these look in the least like your throne.

KING: (returning from his own little dream world) Hmmm? No, no, no, they don't, do we my dear. Although the Toymaker did say we'd find them in here, didn't he, hmm?

STEVEN: What was that riddle again?

DODO: Ah "...four legs, no feet, of arms no lack, it carries no burden on its back."

STEVEN: (excitedly) That must be these chairs!

DODO: But what about the rest of it? "Six deadly sisters, seven for choice, call the servants without voice."

STEVEN: Hmmm...well, that can't be the chairs. There are only three of them.

(The QUEEN taps the KING on the shoulder with her fan.)

QUEEN: You're not paying the least attention again.

KING: (in his own little dream world) Hmmm?

QUEEN: I warned you, if we don't find that throne, he'll keep us here. We shall remain playing cards for the rest of eternity.

KING: (awakening from this dream world) Ah! Very good point, my dear. Yes, yes, we must find the throne.

(The KING goes closer to the chairs and pulls out a monocle. He polishes it and proceeds to examine them.)

DODO: What do you make of them? They seem almost like real people.

STEVEN: Uh... ignore them. They're sent here to distract us. Let's take a look through here.

(STEVEN and DODO exit, making their way through a passage.)

QUEEN: Where's that Knave? Cyril! Cyril! Tormenting the Joker again I'll be--.

(The door to the throne room opens and an odd looking pair enter. One is tall and slender--the Joker. He is sad looking with stooped shoulders and wears a joker's hat as well as bells. He looks just like the Joker from a deck of cards. The other is a fat, red-cheeked boy with innocent-looking eyes. He is dressed as the Jack of Hearts. He carries a short sword.)

JOKER: (moaning and groaning to the KING and the QUEEN) Did you have to give him that sword?

QUEEN: (waving her fan impatiently) Quiet, Fool.

(to CYRIL, the JACK OF HEARTS) Cyril, what are you doing?

(The JACK OF HEARTS is prodding the JOKER with his sword.)

CYRIL: Nothing. Just playing with the Fool. I'm hungry.

(CYRIL sheaths his sword.)

KING: (looking at CYRIL) Ho, ho! The boy's always hungry.

JOKER: (softly) He's a pig.

QUEEN: (angrily) What did you say?

JOKER: I said, "Give him a fig."

(nervously) I... I thought there was a throne to find.

QUEEN: So there is.

(looking around the room) Where have those peasants gone?

KING: Hmm? Oh, uh, through that door, my dear.

QUEEN: (impatiently) Why didn't you tell me?

KING: Well, you never asked, me dear.

QUEEN: We must follow them at once.

KING: Oh...

QUEEN: (snapping) Fool, you stay here and look after these chairs.

KING: Oh, but, uh, now that the Fool is here, don't you think we could have a joke or two?

QUEEN: (impatiently) No! Come on.

KING: Oh, well, then, a riddle then? Hmmm? Or a merry quip?

QUEEN: (impatiently) Are you coming?

KING: (clears his throat.) Oh, ahem, yes, my dear... hmm... hmm... hmm...

(The KING and the QUEEN exit the first throne room while the JOKER and CYRIL remain behind.)


(STEVEN and DODO are in the second throne room. This one is panelled in dark, weathered oak. On the two main facing walls there are four cupboards each shaped like the TARDIS. In the center of the room there are three thrones. These are less elaborate than the others and are minus the cushions. They are numbered "five," "six," and "seven.")

STEVEN: Dodo! Four in here, three in there. It must be the chairs. What it "Six deadly sisters, seven for choice." I suppose that means six of them are dangerous.

DODO: And only one is the right one.

STEVEN: We'll have to find out which one by elimination. But how? How dangerous are they?

(STEVEN walks over to the first of the chairs and begins to lower himself into the seat.)

DODO: (screaming) No Steven! Don't!

(STEVEN stands up and comes toward her.)

STEVEN: Why? What's wrong?

DODO: Don't risk it. None of the Toymakers' toys are just jokes. Six of these chairs will destroy us.

STEVEN: It's a charming thought, but you're probably right. But Dodo, have you noticed all these cupboards? They're all exactly the same shape as the TARDIS.

DODO: (shuddering) Yes, but they could be as dangerous as the chairs.

(STEVEN thinks for a moment and then nods his head.)

STEVEN: No, I don't think so. There are only four, and there weren't any in the other room.

(STEVEN crosses over to the cupboard nearest the door, opens it, and the steps back in amazement. DODO walks over to check and then lets out a scream. Inside are two life-size dolls, dressed as ballerinas. They have large painted eyes, tutus, and ballet shoes.)

Alright, they're only dolls.

(STEVEN walks over to the another cupboard and opens the door. Inside are two more life-size dolls. DODO opens a third cupboard and discovers two more ballerinas and one ballerino.)

DODO: I've got it! We'll use the dolls to sit in the chairs. If we've got enough that is. That's four here, and these three make up the seven.

(DODO reaches into the cupboard to pull out the male doll.)

STEVEN: Don't touch them!

(DODO stops.)

DODO: Why? What's wrong?

STEVEN: Well, they may be dangerous, too.

DODO: But the riddle said "six deadly sisters," and some of these are men dolls.

STEVEN: What was the last line again?

DODO: Ah... "call the servants without voice." You can't call someone without speaking.

STEVEN: But they haven't got voices. We have.

(to the dolls) Dolls - come out!

(DODO stands behind STEVEN waiting to see if the dolls come to life. Nothing happens.)

Look, they must be the servants. Maybe it's, um, poetic term, the call bit. Huh, nothing's happened yet. Well, if we can get them all out before the king and queen get here, we can test the chairs.

(STEVEN reaches inside the first cupboard and begins pulling out the dolls and dumping them on the floor. Meanwhile, DODO is standing in front of the fourth cupboard, staring at it.)

DODO: Wait. With seven dolls in three cupboards, what's the other one for?

STEVEN: Perhaps that might be the real TARDIS.

(By now STEVEN has finished removing the the dolls from the first and second cupboard. He goes over to the fourth cupboard and tries to open it. It won't budge.)

DODO: It won't open.

(The KING and the QUEEN enter the room unnoticed.)

STEVEN: Of course - the Doctor's got the key. C'mon - look!

(STEVEN notes the robot displaying the DOCTOR's tally.)

The Doctor's more than half way through his game already. We've got to find out what we've got to do here first. Quick! Before the others arrive.

QUEEN: (to the KING) Ahh... the peasants again.

(to DODO and STEVEN) Caught you in the act. What are you up to?

KING: (looking at the dolls) Oh, uh, they seem to be playing with dolls, my dear.

QUEEN: (angrily) I can see that. The point is, what are they doing with them?

(All the while, DODO has been studying the faces of the "Heart" family.)

DODO: (to STEVEN) They seem very real.

(to the "Heart" family) We're going to use the dolls to test the chairs.

QUEEN: (raising her eyebrows) To test them?

DODO: Yes. Six of them are dangerous and only one is safe.

(giggling) You know, I feel very foolish talking to a playing card.

QUEEN: (outraged) A playing card?

DODO: Well aren't you?

STEVEN: Dodo, its useless talking to them. They're just products of the Toymaker's imagination.

QUEEN: (looking extremely indignant) We're as real as you are. Henry...

KING: (mutters something) Oh, uh, yes, m'dear?

QUEEN: Come here.

KING: Yes, m'dear.

QUEEN: Let this wretched child feel your arm.

KING: (confused) Feel my arm?!

(The QUEEN impatiently grabs DODO's arm and puts it onto the KING's.)

QUEEN: There, child. Isn't that an arm? Not much of one, I grant you, but nevertheless, a real arm.

DODO: (excitedly) It is! Steven, these are real people. Feel his arm!

STEVEN: No, I'll take your word for it.

(to the KING and QUEEN) Look, if you're real people, what are you doing here? And why are you wearing those ridiculous clothes?

KING: (nodding wearily) Ah yes, well, it would take a little too long to explain, my boy. The fact is that we are victims of the Toymaker, the same as you are. (mutters) For instance, if I were to sit in this chair...

(The KING begins to sit.)

QUEEN: (screaming) Henry - no! We don't know!

KING: Oh! Oh, no, no, no, we don't, do we, hmm?

QUEEN: (emphatically) We must use the dolls. We'll each choose a doll in turn, and then we'll take it in turn to test the chairs, that way we'll find the answer even quicker.

DODO: (taken aback) We found the dolls. They're ours. And we're supposed to be playing against you.

QUEEN: But that doesn't seem right. There are four dolls and four of us. We must be meant to have one each. That's only fair.

KING: And then we can test the dolls sitting in the chair before doing so ourselves, hmm?

DODO: (confused) What do you mean one each? What about...

STEVEN: It's alright Dodo.

DODO: Yes, but what about...

(DODO points to the other cupboard containing the three dolls.)

STEVEN: It'll be alright.

(under his breath) Now never mind and keep quiet.

(to the KING and QUEEN) Alright, go ahead. Choose your dolls.

DODO: But I don't understand. What about the others?

KING: Oh, no no no, don't fuss yourself, m'dear. The point of the game is to see who picks the chair which isn't dangerous, and whoever does that is the winner. If it's you, you'll get your TARDIS back, and if it is us, we get our liberty.

STEVEN: Now, he's right Dodo. Now go on, choose your doll, and keep quiet. We'll try our luck in the other room.

DODO: Oh, very well.

(STEVEN and DODO each pick up a doll and head for the first throne room.)

KING: Oh, are you going, m'dear?

STEVEN: We'll see you later.

QUEEN: I thought we were all supposed to play this game together?

STEVEN: Well as there are seven chairs, I thought that Dodo and I might try our luck in the other room. And that way we'll all have an equal chance.

KING: Ah yes, yes, yes, certainly m'boy, yes, anything you like.

Well (mutters), good luck.

(STEVEN, still carrying his doll, moves closer to the passageway.)

STEVEN: Come on, Dodo.

DODO: Alright, I'm coming. They're so big!

(They exit.)

KING: (chuckles) Charming couple, aren't they, hmm?

QUEEN: (frowning with annoyance) It isn't very charming to be told you're not real. We were not amused. Well, which chair do you suggest?

KING: (muttering) Yes, well (mutters), none of them look like the throne, do they m'dear, hmm?

QUEEN: Well, then you must pick one at random.

KING: Ah, yes of course, random, yes (chuckling), ah now...

(closing his eyes and muttering) Eenie meenie minie moe, catch a nigger by the toe...

(chuckles) Ah!

(The KING is just about to put his hand on the chair.)

QUEEN: No, Henry! Put the doll in it.

KING: (lifting the doll) Ooh, the doll, yes, of course, the doll.

(muttering) Yes, my dear, you're...of course, of course, pick up the doll. Ah, here we are then. Now then, we'll take the doll and then-- ooof! I say it's rather...rather heavy my dear. Nearly as heavy as I am, I' doubt that, uh, this perfectly good test for the...

(The KING puts the ballerina doll into the chair. As soon as the doll sits on it, two clamps come out of the chair - one across the legs the other across the chest, fastening the doll firmly. The chair then begins to vibrate violently.)

QUEEN: (looking on in horror) Henry!

(The doll's head falls off.)


(DODO and STEVEN enter the first throne room, dragging their huge ballerina dolls. They don't notice the JOKER and CYRIL napping on the floor until STEVEN trips over them.)

STEVEN: Oh, no... not more playing cards!

(The JOKER moves away from STEVEN. Meanwhile DODO can't help smiling at the shocked expression of the JOKER.)

DODO: They look rather sweet, don't they? A Jack and the Joker.

(STEVEN picks up his doll, which he dropped when he tripped, and drags it closer to the thrones. He motions for DODO to join him. When she is near him, STEVEN quietly speaks to her.)

STEVEN: Leave them alone, and concentrate. You nearly gave the game away in the other room. They think that there are only four dolls. Now if everyone chooses the wrong chair with those dolls, we're going to need the extra ones to find the right chair.

DODO: Is that fair? They seem quite nice and friendly.

STEVEN: Can't you understand, we've got to win every game, otherwise we'll never see the TARDIS again. This isn't a children's party.

DODO: (innocently) Well, I'm sure if you explained that then the King and Queen would help us.

STEVEN: (with great frustration) Oh, Dodo they belong to the Toymaker, remember that. He wants to keep us here - at any rate the Doctor.

DODO: Why?

STEVEN: I don't know, and it doesn't matter. But we've got to find the TARDIS before the Doctor finishes the game he's playing.




Throw your doll into a chair.

DODO: Throw it?

STEVEN: Yes. Six of these chairs are deadly, remember that. I don't want to see either of us caught out by one of those. Now throw it.

DODO: Very well.

(The doll is thrown into the chair marked "three." There is a flash, and STEVEN and DODO step back. Thick black smoke begins pouring from the doll.)

What happened?

(STEVEN tries beating off the smoke. As it clears, they see that the doll is charred and blackened and sprawled grotesquely across the seat.)

STEVEN: It was... some sort of electrocution! That could've been us!

DODO: (nodding grimly) Yes... I see what you mean about this not being a children's party.

(Upon hearing "party," CYRIL shakes himself awake and sits up.)

CYRIL: A party? Is it tea time, already? Mmmm... I smell crumpets toasting!

(CYRIL looks over at the charred doll and wrinkles his nose.)

What's that?

(CYRIL stands up, looks over at STEVEN and DODO, and nervously backs away from the doll in the chair.)

DODO: Oh, oh, don't be scared of us.

(DODO moves toward him, but CYRIL turns away and bolts out of the room, heading for the second throne room. STEVEN, meanwhile, raises the other doll.)

STEVEN: Alright. Stand by. I'm going to try chair number one.

(STEVEN flings the doll into the chair marked "one." There is a slow whirring noise. A blade protruding from the back of the chair slices the doll neatly in half. Both pieces fall to the floor.)

DODO: Horrible! The Toymaker must be mad! Do you really think he means to kill us?

STEVEN: What do you think?

DODO: Well, what do we do now?

STEVEN: Well, we've got to get the other dolls! We've got to get out of this place!

DODO: We can't go in there!


DODO: Or they'll know about the three extra dolls, then!


(Inside the second throne room the headless doll still shakes violently in the chair marked "seven" as the KING and QUEEN look on.)

QUEEN: Henry! Turn the thing off!

KING: I don't think I can get near enough m'dear.

(Suddenly the chair stops shaking, and the doll is released, falling onto the floor in bits and pieces. CYRIL enters the room from behind them.)

CYRIL: I wish you'd stop this silly game!

KING: (smiling and pointing to the chair marked "four") Father's a very nice chair here for you, my boy.

(CYRIL is appalled and stands by his mother's side, clutching her dress.)

CYRIL: (whining) Mother! Did you hear what he said?

QUEEN: (indignantly) Henry!

KING: (chuckling) Well, just a harmless little joke, m'dear, hmm hmm. Yes, well, I suppose we'd better try the doll in it, don't you think? Ahh... (muttering and struggling with the doll) now then... upsie dazie... we shall try the... this, uh, chair now.

(The KING picks up the remaining doll and flings it onto the chair marked "four." The KING, the QUEEN, and CYRIL watch as the doll slowly fades away.)

Oh dear! It's - it's disappeared!

QUEEN: I can see that! Well, that leaves us with chairs number five and six. What do you propose we do now?

KING: (thinking for a moment) Well, I suppose we'd better see how that young couple are getting on in their room, hmm?

QUEEN: Well, they can't have succeeded. We'd have had a visit from the Toymaker if they had.

KING: (muttering) Ah! Yeah... oh, we need two more dolls, hmm hmm hmm.

(The KING looks regretfully at CYRIL. Meanwhile, CYRIL has forgotten what his father said before and now proceeds to eat a banana that he had in his pocket.)

(muttering again) Uh, yes, a pity, hmm. I know, the Fool!

QUEEN: (disdainfully) Oh really Henry! How you can think of entertainment at a time like this - ?

(catching on to HENRY's meaning) Oh yes, of course. I see... the Fool!

KING: (nodding) Precisely, my dear.

(The KING laughs. He offers his arm to his wife, and they turn to leave for the first throne room. CYRIL stops eating his banana, glances back fearfully at the chairs and the dolls, and hurries off after them.

CYRIL: (screaming) Mother! Mother!


(STEVEN and DODO are still in the first throne room. STEVEN is lying partly under chair "two." He puts a tentative hand up toward it. DODO watches this in horror.)

STEVEN: No, it's no use. I can't tell a thing just by looking at it. We'll have to get those other dolls.

DODO: The King and Queen are coming.

STEVEN: (nodding) Good! I'll tell you what I'll do... I'll try to distract them. You step into the other room and test the chairs. If they're both deadly, then this must be the right one.

(The KING and QUEEN enter.)

KING: Ahh! Still one chair left to try, I see.

(The KING chuckles.)

QUEEN: Why don't you try it, girl?

DODO: (sticking out her tongue) Why don't you?

(The QUEEN, insulted, turns her back on DODO.)

STEVEN: Haven't you had any luck either? No more dolls. Rather looks like a stalemate, doesn't it?

KING: Ah! Not quite, my boy.

(The KING chuckles.)

Oh no, I still have one card to play, hmm hmm... uh, if, you'll, uh, excuse the expression, hmm hmm.

(The KING looks down at the sleeping JOKER and stirs him awake with his foot. The JOKER slowly awakens and rises to his feet.)

JOKER: Oh, what goes up the chimney down, and can't come down the chimney up?

KING: (muttering) Down the chimney... oh no, no, no, my dear fellow, no, no not work! We want your advice, don't we my dear?

QUEEN: (shocked) Advice??!! From a Fool??!!

KING: We still have to pick a throne, my dear, hmm hmm.

QUEEN: (with understanding) Ahhh...

KING: Ah, now then, my dear fellow, for instance, um, what do you think of this chair?

(The KING leads the JOKER to the chair marked "two." Finally realizing what the KING has in mind, STEVEN runs ahead of them and blocks their way to the throne.)

STEVEN: No you don't! Not this one!

(The JOKER is still oblivious as to what is going on. He looks at the KING and STEVEN with confusion. Suddenly, DODO runs into the room.)

DODO: Steven, the cupboard with the other three dolls - it's locked. I can't open it.

STEVEN: But you must. It was open before.

QUEEN: (outraged) Three more dolls?

KING: (waving his index finger in the air) And you kept them from us?

QUEEN: Cheat!

KING: Dear! Dear!

STEVEN: (pointing to the JOKER) Oh-o, you can talk after what you were about to do to this poor fellow?

JOKER: (still unaware of the KING's plan) Poor fel - oh... what's that?!

KING: (muttering) Oh, eh, nothing, my dear chap! Uh, now, ah, come with us. We can't leave you in such company.

QUEEN: _____ in back.

KING: Come on my dear fellow...

QUEEN: Come Cyril!

(The KING and QUEEN exit the first throne room. CYRIL sticks his tongue out at STEVEN and DODO and then follows his parents. The JOKER hesitates, lost in some train of thought, but then follows them. Now STEVEN turns to DODO.)

STEVEN: (sighs angrily) Now you've done it... handed them the game, right on a platter! If this isn't the real chair, we've lost the game.

DODO: (folding her arms obstinately) I don't see that.

STEVEN: Look... they've got two more chairs to test. They get the Joker to sit on one; if this isn't the right chair, then the other one must be.

(STEVEN gives DODO a look of disgust and turns away folding his arms. DODO is almost in tears. She turns toward the chairs and makes a decision. She begins to lower herself onto chair "two.")


(The TOYMAKER is leaning back watching the hand of the DOCTOR play the trilogic game. The tally register has recorded 690 moves by the DOCTOR.)

TOYMAKER: You've been moving along very satisfactorily. It's especially commendable considering that young Dodo has chosen to sit in the wrong chair - the freezing chair.

(The DOCTOR's hand pauses and remains stiffly in the air.)


(STEVEN, horrified, discovers DODO sitting on chair "two.")

STEVEN: Dodo - you fool!

(STEVEN rushes to DODO's side, but discovers that an invisible barrier of some sort is set around the throne.)

DODO: (teeth chattering) Steven, I feel cold... all the way through.

STEVEN: (emphatically) Stand up!

DODO: Help me. I'm freezing. I... can't... move.

STEVEN: Stand up.

DODO: (shaking her head) I... can't!

STEVEN: Look! Try! You must. You must try.

DODO: I... think I'm... turning to... ice, Steven.

STEVEN: Fight the cold! Fight it, Dodo. You've got to get out of that chair. Now fight it!

DODO: It's... no... use.

STEVEN: (with desperation) Look, you must try. We've got to concentrate - together.

DODO: We... can't.

STEVEN: We must - now!

(STEVEN extends his hand to DODO. This time the barrier parts as their combined wills dissipate it. STEVEN grips DODO's hand. Immediately he feels an intense cold penetrating his hand and arm. DODO begins breathing heavily. Both of them exert every ounce of will and determination. Finally, with a great rush, DODO comes off the chair and tumbles on top of STEVEN.)

DODO: (teeth still chattering) Ah! Oooh! Oh, thank you. You did it.

STEVEN: (gasping for breath and rubbing his hands together) Oh, we did it together.

DODO: Oh no, I couldn't do a thing. I couldn't move.

STEVEN: Thank goodness you're safe. The Doctor would never have forgiven me if anything had happened to you.

DODO: (rubbing the circulation back into her body) But Steven, we've lost.


(The KING and QUEEN are standing by chairs "five" and "six" with the JOKER. Behind them CYRIL squats on the ground eating another banana. The KING turns to the JOKER.)

KING: Well, there's a much better choice in here. Now give us your honest opinion: which is the better chair?

JOKER: (looking suspiciously at the KING and QUEEN) Well, sir, I... I think, ah... perhaps that one.

(He points to chair "six.")

KING: (looking at the chair through his monocle) Number six? Good! Good! Well, it is not possible really to test a chair by just looking at it, hmmm?

QUEEN: (impatiently) Now come on, Fool, we haven't got all day!

JOKER: (muttering to himself) Oh, poor fellow. Poor fellow.

(The KING begins to laugh.)

What's he laughing at?

QUEEN: He wasn't laughing, were you?

KING: Hmm?

(The KING starts laughing harder than before.)

JOKER: (wearily) And they call me a fool.

KING: Well, look, ahem, sit down my dear fellow.

(The KING chuckles some more.)

JOKER: (moving away from the chairs) Oh, not on your life, sire. A joke's a joke. I'm giving notice. You can try out your chairs for yourself.

(The JOKER raises his jester's wand at them and leaves. The KING and QUEEN are stunned. Then they turn to CYRIL and the KING raises his hand. CYRIL scrambles to his feet and follows the JOKER.)

KING: Humph! Your son, I think, ahem, my dear, hmm.

QUEEN: Well, what do you propose we do now?

KING: Well there is nothing else for it. You'll have to try out the chair.

QUEEN: (astonished) I??!!

KING: (muttering) Well, one of us will have to, ahem. I know - we'll draw matches, hmm?

(He brings out a box of matches and opens it.)

QUEEN: (shaking her head) No! I don't trust your matches. We will toss for it.

(The QUEEN pulls out a coin and does so.)

Heads! Ah!

KING: (chuckling) You forget, my dear. I know that coin has got two heads, hmm, hmm.

QUEEN: (putting her coin away) Then...

KING: Then... we will both sit in it.

QUEEN: And if we go, we go together?

(Finally! The first real display of love between them.)

KING: My love.

(The KING takes the QUEEN on his arm. They walk over to chair "six" and slowly sit down.)

Nothing happened.

QUEEN: It's alright.

KING: We worried for nothing.

(Suddenly, the chair collapses, entangling and imprisoning them in the wreckage just as STEVEN and DODO enter the room.)

DODO: (looking the KING and QUEEN over) Oh the poor things! We must help them.

STEVEN: No, not now!

(He points to chair "five.")

DODO: You mean...

STEVEN: That must be the one.

(STEVEN walks over to it and without hesitating, sits down. The room darkens and a light comes on from the fourth cupboard that wouldn't open earlier. It now slides out as they watch until finally it stands almost clear of the wall - an unmistakable police box!)

DODO: (excitedly) We've won! There's the TARDIS! As soon as the Doctor wins his game, we can go! We're safe!

(DODO runs up to the TARDIS and opens the door.)

(with great disappointment) Oh no! It can't be! It's got to be the real one. Look! It's happened again.

(STEVEN joins her and observes that the box is, indeed, just a police box.)

STEVEN: It's another of those that the Toymaker's made. Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Well, what now?

DODO: You know, we never really solved that last riddle - call the servants without voice.

STEVEN: (nodding with disappointment) No. Let's try again. You never know.

(STEVEN steps outside of the call box and begins to call out to the dolls.)

Dolls, dolls, wherever you are - come out!

(The telephone in the police box rings. DODO stares at the cupboard with the remaining three dolls. Nothing appears to have happened. STEVEN turns and picks up the telephone receiver and puts it to his ear. It's the TOYMAKER.)

TOYMAKER: You're doing better than I thought. But don't rest on your laurels. The Doctor is succeeding even faster than you. Time and luck are running out. Here is the next clue: "Hunt the key to fit the door that leads out on the dancing floor; then escape the rhythmic beat, or you'll forever tap your feet."

(There is a clicking sound over the telephone. THE CELESTIAL TOYMAKER hung up the phone.)

STEVEN: But...

DODO: He's gone.

(STEVEN hangs up the phone. As he does so, the entire back wall of the police box opens and reveals a dark passageway.)

DODO: Steven, look.

(STEVEN and DODO look back at the chairs where the KING and QUEEN became entangled. Lying on the seat of the mangled throne are two playing cards - the King and Queen of Hearts.)

STEVEN: I said that's all they were. Never mind that now. The next game - come.

(STEVEN enters the dark passage, but DODO remains behind for just a moment.)

DODO: (shouting) Dolls, dolls, wherever you are, come out!

(Nothing happens so DODO exits. As soon as she leaves, the lights in the throne room come on and the last of the cupboard doors opens. The dolls inside begin moving, slowly and jerkily, out of their cupboard and make their way across the floor to the police box.)


Doctor Who

Steven Taylor

Dodo Chaplet


King of Hearts

Queen of Hearts

Knave of Hearts


Title Music by




Incidental Music

Story Editor


Directed by

Transcribed by

Corrections by
Z1R0 (

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