TARDIS Control Room
DOCTOR: Now, as I remember Zoe, it all started when Jamie and I discovered somebody making off with the TARDIS.
ZOE: Well, what about those Daleks you showed me?
DOCTOR: We're coming to that, Zoe. Just let me show you the story from the beginning.
JAMIE: The TARDIS! Doctor!
(The DOCTOR attempts to speak above the radio, which is almost deafeningly loud.)
DOCTOR: Excuse me!
DOCTOR: I wonder if you could help us?
HALL: My mate likes the wireless turned on at full blast.
(He gestures to an old battered radio sitting on a nearby bench.)
I have to keep this turned down.
(He indicates his hearing aid.)
DOCTOR: Oh, I see.
(HALL turns the wireless down as JAMIE speaks.)
JAMIE: Who's taken the TARDIS?
DOCTOR: He means the police telephone box.
HALL: He said 'TARDIS' or something.
DOCTOR: Yes. Well, TARDIS... That's, uh... That's another name for it.
HALL: Oh, foreign is he?
JAMIE: Me, foreign? You're the one that's foreign! I'm Scottish!
DOCTOR: Uh, that's right. TARDIS is a... is a Gaelic word. (He whispers to JAMIE.) Jamie, hush!
JAMIE: (whispering back) It's getting further away all the time!
DOCTOR: Yes, I know. (He turns back to address HALL.) Well, anyway, it's... it's our property and we've come to collect it.
HALL: Oh, you mean the...
(We witnesses KENNEDY, sitting several hundred feet away in a large open field, listening to the conversation over a radio-transmitter, and hears it from his viewpoint.)
HALL: (oov) Uh, the police box?
DOCTOR: (oov) Yes!
HALL: (oov) Yeah. Well, uh... Well, that's gone.
JAMIE: (oov) Oh, we...
(We once again hear the conversation from inside the hangar.)
JAMIE: ...know it's gone. That's the whole point. Its ours and somebody's stolen it!
HALL: Ah, well, I don't know about that. I got a note here somewhere.
(He searches through the huge amount of paperwork around him and locates a clipboard with many, many yellowed pages and one very clean blue piece of paper on top of them.)
Yeah, here we are. There.
(He reads from the page.)
"Police Tel. Box. Collection: 3 o'clock".
DOCTOR: Let me see this please.
HALL: Been signed for.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes. So I see. Er... "J Smith". Doesn't really help us, does it?
HALL: Yeah. Well, I just do what I'm told. Better see the airport commandant or someone.
DOCTOR: Oh, no. I... I don't think we'd better do that. Um, Jamie, I think we'd better talk to the police.
(HALL begins to appear worried.)
HALL: Of course I, um... I do know the name of the firm what picked it up.
JAMIE: You do?!
HALL: Yeah, firm name of, uh... Leatherman.
(The DOCTOR starts to drag JAMIE off as JAMIE ponders the name.)
DOCTOR: (to HALL) Thank you very much. You'll be hearing from us.
JAMIE: Leatherman. Now that's a clue. Just a minute. Now, what street do they...? Doctor, wait!
(They leave the hangar. HALL pulls his "hearing aid", which is actually a R/T, out of his pocket and speaks to KENNEDY.)
HALL: Did you get all that?
KENNEDY: Every word. We'd better get going. Get your money back at the warehouse.
SCENE 2 - Exterior the Hangar
JAMIE: We should have followed that clue he gave us.
DOCTOR: Perhaps. I think we'd better keep an eye on him.
DOCTOR: Well, didn't you notice his overalls? They were much too small for him, and the top sheet of his clip board was different to all the others, and when we mentioned the police he became friendly!
JAMIE: Aye. Hey, may...
(The DOCTOR sees HALL approaching and quickly pulls JAMIE and himself behind some machinery. HALL is no longer wearing overalls, and instead has a neat jacket on. They follow him as he leaves the hangar.)
SCENE 3 - Large Open Field
(KENNEDY talks into his transmitter.)
KENNEDY: Kennedy to base. Kennedy to base. Do you read me?
SCENE 4 - The home of WATERFIELD
(We now see and hear from the viewpoint of EDWARD WATERFIELD, a middle-aged man wearing a dark old-fashioned suit.)
KENNEDY: (oov) Kennedy to base. Do you read?
KENNEDY: (oov) The Doctor and his friend are following Bob Hall.
WATERFIELD: I knew they would suspect him.
KENNEDY: (oov) I'll go on to the warehouse.
WATERFIELD: Very good, Mr Kennedy.
SCENE 5 - Near the Airport Car Park
(JAMIE and the DOCTOR, still in pursuit of HALL, see him get into a car and drive off.)
DOCTOR: That's him. There he goes.
JAMIE: Oh, no!
(They hail a taxi and the DOCTOR speaks to the driver.)
DOCTOR: For hire?
DOCTOR: Follow that car!
SCENE 6 - The Home of WATERFIELD
(WATERFIELD sits at a desk, pen in hand. A knock is heard on the door.)
PERRY: Perry, sir.
WATERFIELD: Oh, uh... One moment Mr. Perry.
(WATERFIELD puts down his pen and unbolts the door very carefully, as if he is concerned he will break it.)
PERRY: It's here.
PERRY: Like me to open the shutters, sir? Lovely day outside.
WATERFIELD: I have a choice between the sun or noise, Mr. Perry. I regret shutting out one, but at least I keep out the other.
(PERRY now notices a pedestal clock on the table nearby.)
PERRY: Yes. I say! That's very good. Just come in, eh? Mint condition. Eighteen, uh, seventy. Is it?
PERRY: Don't know who your contacts are, sir, but this is marvellous!
WATERFIELD: Well, Victorian timepieces are my speciality, Mr. Perry.
PERRY: Wish you'd tell me who makes them for you, sir.
WATERFIELD: But then you would be as wise as I, and that wouldn't do at all, would it?
PERRY: Whoever makes them, Mr. Waterfield, they'd fool an expert. If I didn't know it was impossible, I would say it was absolutely genuine.
WATERFIELD: And, uh, there was no trouble with the box?
PERRY: Apparently not. A bit out of our line, isn't it, sir? A battered old police box?
WATERFIELD: The whims and caprices of our patrons is our line, Mr Perry.
PERRY: Hmm. Odd though.
WATERFIELD: Mr. Perry, I pay you the sum of 50 guineas per week, do I not?
PERRY: Pounds, actually sir. 50 pounds.
WATERFIELD: Yes, uh... I hope I may be forgiven if I believe that entitles me to demanding less curiosity of you.
PERRY: Sorry, sir.
WATERFIELD: It is, I think you will agree, a princely salary.
PERRY: No complaints on that score. Long as I'm not asked to do anything dicey.
PERRY: Crooked. Illegal.
WATERFIELD: Your candor is refreshing, Mr. Perry, even if your judgement of character is somewhat questionable.
PERRY: I didn't mean that...
WATERFIELD: (He cuts him off.) I know perfectly well what you meant. You may rest assured, I shall not ask you to do anything "dicey."
PERRY: No, sir.
WATERFIELD: I think you are wanted in the shop, Mr. Perry.
PERRY: And the, um... the telephone box, uh... (laughs) What do we do with it?
WATERFIELD: Do? We do nothing.
PERRY: Oh, right. (He leaves.)
WATERFIELD: Nothing, except wait.
SCENE 7 - Exterior, a Warehouse
(Having pursued HALL from Gatwick, the DOCTOR and JAMIE finally catch up with his car outside a warehouse just north of London's Kings Cross Station.)
DOCTOR: This is his car. He must be around here somewhere.
SCENE 8 - Interior the Warehouse
(HALL has just arrived, to be met by KENNEDY.)
KENNEDY: You sure you weren't followed?
HALL: No! Course I wasn't. Hey, you haven't told me what this little caper's about yet, uh, Kennedy.
KENNEDY: Counted the money yet then, have ya?
HALL: No, not yet.
KENNEDY: Or do you think I made a mistake giving ya two-fifty instead of seventy-five? We thought you might like a little extra.
HALL: What for?
KENNEDY: You know those two at the hangar?
KENNEDY: They're outside. (He takes on a mocking tone.) You weren't followed! (He shows him a truncheon.) We'll be ready for them, won't we? That's what the extra's for.
HALL: Now listen...
KENNEDY: (He cuts him off.) You on one side of the door, me on the other. Right? Straight over their heads. They won't even know what hit them.
HALL: Ah, not me, mate.
KENNEDY: It's a bit late to argue, isn't it? They're outside.
HALL: Now listen, I'm not getting mixed up in no kidnapping, and that's flat!
(HALL turns to leave, but KENNEDY knocks him out before he can get to the door.)
SCENE 9 - Exterior the Warehouse
DOCTOR: Well, have you tried the door?
(JAMIE opens the door. They go in and find HALL, who appears to be unconscious.)
Man in the overalls! It's all right. He's alive.
(They attempt to rouse HALL, who struggles to sit up.)
HALL: Oh, dear... (moans) Where's Ken...
DOCTOR: Ken? Ken who?
JAMIE: Make him tell us where the TARDIS is!
(HALL lapses back into apparent unconsciousness.)
DOCTOR: No good, he's out cold. See if we can find some water somewhere. Hello, this is something. This really is something.
(He notices the makeshift table and the pile of money intended for HALL.)
But, why pay him to help steal the TARDIS and then knock him on the head?
JAMIE: Well, why steal the TARDIS anyway?
DOCTOR: That's what's been bothering me, Jamie, too.
(Having searched only half-heartedly, JAMIE returns to look at what the DOCTOR has found.)
JAMIE: There's no water here. Hey, that looks a lot of money, Doctor.
DOCTOR: It's between two and three hundred pounds. Yes, it is a lot, at least for what he had to do - put on a pair of overalls and just hang around. Come to think of it, why hang around? He was obviously planted. Why not just go off in the lorry?
(Glancing over, he notices a pack of cigarettes and a matchbook sitting on the window sill. He also notices a half-smoked hand-rolled cigarette on the floor beside HALL.)
JAMIE: You found something else?
DOCTOR: I don't know.
(He searches HALL's pockets, finding rolling papers and a tin of tobacco.)
Yes, this man rolled his own cigarettes, so these must belong to somebody else. That's a fair assumption.
(A train whistle and the grinding of wheels can be heard from outside the warehouse. JAMIE is obviously shaken by it.)
JAMIE: What's that?
DOCTOR: It's all right. It's only a train.
JAMIE: A what?
DOCTOR: Well, it's a train. There are carriages and they go on wheels, on rails, and they're drawn by a stea...
(While JAMIE and THE DOCTOR are busy, HALL gets up and starts to sneak out of the warehouse. JAMIE sees him just as HALL opens the door.)
DOCTOR: Hey, come back!
(HALL gets out of the door, barring it behind himself. JAMIE tries to open it, but is unable to.)
JAMIE: Well, give us a hand!
(The DOCTOR helps, and together they are able to open the door, but by this time, HALL is nowhere to be found.)
Aw, not a sign of him. The only chance we had.
DOCTOR: There is this... (He shows JAMIE the matchbook he had found in HALL's pockets and reads the name written on them.) "The Tricolour". It's a coffee bar apparently. And that's not all.
JAMIE: Well, what else?
(The DOCTOR then shows JAMIE the inside of the matchbook.)
DOCTOR: Well, normally people pull out their matches from right to left. These have been torn out from left to right.
JAMIE: What does that mean?
DOCTOR: It means we've got to find a coffee bar called "The Tricolour" and look for a man called Ken or Kenneth - someone, who's left-handed.
JAMIE: Now we've got something to go on!
DOCTOR: But it's so little, Jamie. It's too little. He might only have been there once. There's no guarantee he'll ever go there again.
JAMIE: Now, don't give up Doctor. Remember Bruce.
JAMIE: Robert Bruce.
SCENE 10 - Sitting Room, in the Home of WATERFIELD
(KENNEDY is reporting back to WATERFIELD.)
KENNEDY: Look, I told...
WATERFIELD: (He cuts him off.) They were not aware that you were watching?
KENNEDY: No, they were too busy trying to work it all out.
KENNEDY: That Bob Hall was a bit of a problem. I didn't think he'd turn nasty.
WATERFIELD: You didn't hurt him?
KENNEDY: Him? You're joking.
WATERFIELD: I can assure you that I am not.
KENNEDY: He's a lot bigger than me, you know. No, I just baggered him one and that was it.
WATERFIELD: That was what? Kennedy, I must know precisely what has happened. How badly injured was Hall?
KENNEDY: Well, a bit dazed, that's all. He just mumbled something and made a run for it when they weren't looking.
WATERFIELD: And where is he now?
KENNEDY: Well, I went round to his place later. There he was coming out the front door, zip bag and everything. He got in a cab and went to Euston.
WATERFIELD: Were you able to find another hansom and follow him?
WATERFIELD: Did you follow him?
KENNEDY: Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about him. He's gone up north.
WATERFIELD: That disposes of that. Now, this is extremely important: you did leave the matches?
KENNEDY: Don't worry about it. The Doctor found the cigarettes and the matches.
WATERFIELD: And you are certain they were the ones bearing the name of the coffee shop?
KENNEDY: Coffee bar.
KENNEDY: Yes. I told you, it worked like a charm. I never thought it would, but you were quite right. He got onto the name on the matches straight away.
WATERFIELD: Well, just one last thing, to make quite sure. Now, you are certain that these are the people that you saw? (He shows him photographs of JAMIE and THE DOCTOR.)
KENNEDY: That's them, yeah. Yeah, definite.
WATERFIELD: Right. Well, I shall want you to keep out of sight. You'd better stay in the house, and on no account are you to talk to Mr. Perry about any of this.
WATERFIELD: "OK."? What does that mean?
KENNEDY: What? Yes!
WATERFIELD: Oh, I know that my attitude may appear strange to you on occasions, Kennedy.
KENNEDY: You want to play the part of the Victorian grandfather, that's all right by me. Must be a pretty good gimmick. You pay me well enough.
WATERFIELD: It, uh... helps to sell to our customers.
KENNEDY: Yeah, sure, sure. You've, uh... never told me what it is exactly you've got against this Doctor and his friend. Some kind of vendetta or something?
WATERFIELD: Explanations are not part of our arrangement.
KENNEDY: Oh, just wondering.
WATERFIELD: Imagination is a virtue, but it can become a vice.
KENNEDY: Mind me own business, yeah. I get the message.
WATERFIELD: Ask Mr. Perry to come and see me, will you, please?
(KENNEDY leaves, but does not completely close the door behind him. He then watches through the crack in the door as WATERFIELD removes a book from the bookcase, inserting a key in the panel behind it, which opens into a hidden room. WATERFIELD then disappears into the secret room, returning with another pedestal clock like the one already sitting on his table. KENNEDY hears PERRY walking along the corridor behind him, but only after he has been seen peeking through the doorway. Attempting to appear nonchalant, KENNEDY points toward the room.)
KENNEDY: He wants to see you.
(PERRY speaks to him in carefully neutral tones.)
PERRY: Oh, thank you. (He knocks four times on WATERFIELD's door, as KENNEDY leaves.)
WATERFIELD: (from inside the room) Who is it?
PERRY: It's Perry, sir.
WATERFIELD: One moment. (He closes the hidden panel, replaces the book and puts the key in an open box on his desk before opening the door for PERRY.)
PERRY: You wanted to see me, sir?
WATERFIELD: Yes, I have an extremely important and delicate task for you to perform.
PERRY: Oh, yes?
(He notices the new clock on the table, and walks over to examine it.)
I say, you got a new delivery.
WATERFIELD: Y... yes.
PERRY: I didn't see it arrive.
WATERFIELD: It was delivered last night. I've only just brought it in myself. It is, uh... for a new customer.
PERRY: Oh, yes?
WATERFIELD: A Dr. Galloway. He's extremely wealthy and an ardent collector ...
PERRY: (interrupting) Of, uh... Victoriana, sir?
WATERFIELD: No less. I do not know the Doctor personally, but we have arranged to meet in the coffee shop, uh... bar, nearby.
PERRY: Oh, the Tricolour, sir?
WATERFIELD: Yes. Unfortunately, I am unable to keep the appointment, so I want you to go instead, Mr. Perry. Here is a photograph of Dr. Galloway.
(He shows PERRY the photographs of THE DOCTOR and JAMIE.)
This is his assistant and secretary, Mr. James McCrimmon. Now I want you to ask the Doctor to come to the shop tonight, say at, uh... ten o' clock.
PERRY: Ten o'clock, sir?!
WATERFIELD: Yes. Oh, don't worry, Mr. Perry. I shall be attending to him myself. You needn't wait.
PERRY: Oh, right sir.
WATERFIELD: The Doctor is notoriously unpunctual. I fear you may have a long and tedious wait.
PERRY: I shall find him sir. Do you want me to go now?
WATERFIELD: If you please, Mr. Perry.
(PERRY leaves, after which, WATERFIELD re-opens the hidden panel, and enters the secret room. The room contains a strange electronic apparatus against one wall, together with a number of Victorian antiques. WATERFIELD removes these from the room. After he has done this, he enters the necessary codes to activate the electronic apparatus. During this time, KENNEDY sneaks back, finds the door locked, but stops to listen at the door. He is so intent on this that he fails to notice that PERRY has not left, and is eyeing him coldly.)
PERRY: And what are you doing?
KENNEDY: I... I can't make Mr. Waterfield hear me. I knocked...
PERRY: He's busy.
KENNEDY: O.K. I'll try later.
SCENE 11 - The Tricolour
(JAMIE and the DOCTOR are seated at a table in the busy coffee bar. "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen" can be heard on the jukebox, mingled with the noise of the many other patrons. JAMIE is more than slightly enamoured of the scantily-dressed waitressess that serve the majority of young men present.)
JAMIE: Don't look so depressed, Doctor.
DOCTOR: If only we knew what he looked like, Jamie.
JAMIE: We'll ask one of the lasses in a moment, when things get quieter.
DOCTOR: We've got to untangle this, you know.
JAMIE: It's all quite obvious to me. They're just robbers. Thieves, you understand.
DOCTOR: No, no, there's more to it than that. Why leave that man in the hangar to give us a clue?
JAMIE: Which we haven't followed up, you know. "Leatherman?"
DOCTOR: There is no delivery firm of that name. Not in the London area, anyway. I checked in the phone book.
JAMIE: But surely there's more places than London.
JAMIE: Do you think this is sort of a trap, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yes, but if only we knew who our enemies are...
(The thought of having to deal again with one of their most recent adversaries has JAMIE concerned, and he cuts the DOCTOR off.)
JAMIE: Not the Chameleons again!
DOCTOR: No, something else. I can feel them, closing in all around us.
SCENE 12 - The Hidden Room
(WATERFIELD is standing in front of the alien-looking device, speaking into it.)
WATERFIELD: I've done everything that you've asked of me. Isn't that enough? Now you must tell me the truth. Do you hear?! The truth!
(At this point KENNEDY sneaks back into the outside room, and overhears what WATERFIELD is saying, although he has no idea to whom he is speaking.)
WATERFIELD: (oov) But, you must tell me. I demand! I'm talking to you! Come back!
SCENE 13 - The Tricolour
("Paperback Writer" can be heard playing on the jukebox. The DOCTOR is still seated at the table, but JAMIE is seen talking to a blonde waitress, who seems more than a little interested in what is under his kilt. Ruffled, JAMIE quickly excuses himself and returns to the table.)
JAMIE: Oh, if only the laird could see that! Why do I get all the difficult tasks, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Because you're so much better at them than I am, Jamie. What did you find out?
JAMIE: None of the lasses here could remember anybody called Ken or Kenneth.
DOCTOR: Oh, dear.
JAMIE: Aye. But, they do have a different lot on duty in the evening. Now, maybe they'll know.
(The DOCTOR notices PERRY looking intently in his direction.)
DOCTOR: Jamie, I'm being stared at. Is there something wrong with me?
(JAMIE points to his head.)
JAMIE: You mean up here Doctor?
DOCTOR: Is my hair in disarray?
JAMIE: Well, no more than usual.
DOCTOR: Do I look strange or bizarre?
JAMIE: Aye. Well, maybe I'm just used to you.
DOCTOR: That's some comfort. Look out, he's coming over.
(PERRY walks up to the table.)
PERRY: I beg your pardon.
DOCTOR: Not at all.
PERRY: It is Dr. Galloway, isn't it?
(Not comprehending, JAMIE feels he must clarify and cuts in.)
JAMIE: Dr. Gallo-?
(Unfazed, PERRY continues.)
PERRY: ...and Mr. McCrimmon.
JAMIE: Aye, I'm Jamie McCrimmon.
PERRY: My card. (He offers his card to the DOCTOR.)
DOCTOR: Yes, uh... (He reads the card.) Mr. Perry?
PERRY: Mr. Waterfield's frightfully sorry, but he can't meet you as arranged.
(The DOCTOR pretends he understands and plays along.)
DOCTOR: Oh. Oh, dear. What a pity.
PERRY: But, he says if you'd care to come to the shop at about, uh... ten tonight he'll see to you personally.
DOCTOR: At about 10. Oh, yes, uh... We'll be there.
PERRY: Righto. (He leaves.)
DOCTOR: Right! Right! (He sees that PERRY has gone, and reads his card.) "Edward Waterfield: Genuine Victoriana".
JAMIE: Can't be a mistake. Even though he got your name wrong, he knew mine.
DOCTOR: I wonder if Mr. Kenneth has found us.
(The DOCTOR shows him the card.)
DOCTOR: "K. Perry Esquire". Yes, I think we'll go and see Mr. Edward Waterfield.
SCENE 14 - Sitting Room in the Home of WATERFIELD
(PERRY reports to WATERFIELD on his meeting in the coffee bar.)
WATERFIELD: And he, uh... definitely said he would be here?
PERRY: Yes, sir.
WATERFIELD: Thank you. You have done excellently, Mr. Perry.
(WATERFIELD dismisses him, cutting him off.)
WATERFIELD: Good night.
PERRY: See you in the morning, sir.
(PERRY takes on a questioning tone. WATERFIELD hesitates, but attempts to sound reassuring in his response.)
WATERFIELD: Uh, yes. Yes, in the morning.
(PERRY leaves via the shop in the front of the house. After hearing the door close, WATERFIELD turns to face the kitchen.)
WATERFIELD: Kennedy? Kennedy?
(KENNEDY appears from the kitchen, finishing a sandwich.)
The Doctor is coming here tonight. I shall want you to help me. And you had better put some warm clothes on -- dark things.
KENNEDY: All right. You'd better make sure that police box is well covered-up, in case the Doctor starts snooping about.
(WATERFIELD leaves. KENNEDY sneaks back to WATERFIELD's study, gets the key from where he had seen WATERFIELD place it, finds the hidden panel in the bookcase, unlocks it and enters the hidden room. Once inside, he taps on the walls until he finds a hollow panel. He opens the panel to find a safe. On a whim, he attempts to open it, and finds it is unlocked. While he is engaged in this, something has materialized on the strange machine behind him. He hears a noise, and turns to find himself face to face with a DALEK!)
DALEK: Who are you? Who are you? Answer!
(KENNEDY looks in terror at the creature, and turns to run. As he reaches the door, though, the DALEK fires, and with a scream of agony, KENNEDY slumps to the ground, dead.)
GERRY DAVIS, PETER BRYANT
ANDREW CLONINGER (firstname.lastname@example.org)
with thanks to Brian Pearce and Graham Strong
JOANNE ROCZNIAK (JDRoczniak@aol.com)