THE DALEKS' MASTER PLAN - EPISODE 7

first broadcast - 25th December 1965

THE FEAST OF STEVEN

Written by
TERRY NATION

1. TARDIS INTERIOR

SARA: Something's gone wrong.
DOCTOR: What's the matter, my dear,hm?
SARA: It's stopped going up and down.
STEVEN: That's alright, it means we've landed.

(The Doctor presses the scanner switch and the picture appears - totally covered in static.)

DOCTOR: Tut, tut, tut. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, yes that scanner's not working.
SARA: Can you mend it?
DOCTOR: Yes I can repair it, of course, which means checking the whole circuit.
STEVEN: Right let's get started.

(He puts his hand on the door control lever.)

DOCTOR: Ah,ah,ah. Don't you dare touch anything.
STEVEN: Why not?
DOCTOR: Well, just look at those dials my dear boy!

(Steven looks at the dials on the console, peering at the readings. Sara hurries to see for herself.)

DOCTOR: Sara. look at those dials, now you know what that means? If either of you went outside, it would be extremely dangerous.The whole atmosphere is poisonous.

2. AN ENGLISH STREET, 1965

(A snowy English street is seen. On it is the back door of a police station, as well as a few shops. The serial title appears on the screen over the street scene.)

THE FEAST OF STEVEN
(The serial title fades out. The writer credit appears.)

by
TERRY NATION
(The writer credit fades out. The view falls back to the snowy English street where the TARDIS stands.)

STATION SERGEANT:

(Two policemen, in their car, are singing simultaneously as they pull up to their police station.)

FIRST POLICEMAN

(the driver)

SECOND POLICEMAN

(the passenger)

(then they laugh together)

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

(The policemen get out of their car and greet the STATION SERGEANT.)

SECOND POLICEMAN:

STATION SERGEANT:

SECOND POLICEMAN:

STATION SERGEANT:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

STATION SERGEANT:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

STATION SERGEANT:

3. TARDIS INTERIOR

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

SARA:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

SARA:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

4. TARDIS EXTERIOR-AN ENGLISH STREET

(In the background, a group of children can be heard singing the Christmas carol "The First Noel.")

(The DOCTOR pokes his head out the TARDIS door)

FIRST POLICEMAN: Good evening.

DOCTOR: Good evening.
FIRST POLICEMAN: Hey, you!

(The DOCTOR ducks back into the TARDIS and closes the door. FIRST POLICEMAN runs over to his friend a short distance away.)

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

(to FIRST POLICEMAN)

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

(pointing at the TARDIS)

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

(stutters)

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SECOND POLICEMAN:

5. TARDIS INTERIOR

DOCTOR:

(to SARA)

SARA:

DOCTOR:

SARA:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

(cutting STEVEN off)

STEVEN:

6. TARDIS EXTERIOR-AN ENGLISH STREET

(The DOCTOR peers out the TARDIS, and as he exits the two policemen grab him from either side of the TARDIS, which they had just been hiding behind.)

DOCTOR:

(as he gets grabbed)

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

DOCTOR:

7. POLICE STATION INTERIOR

STATION SERGEANT:

MAN IN MACKINTOSH:

STATION SERGEANT:

MAN IN MACKINTOSH:

STATION SERGEANT:

MAN IN MACKINTOSH:

STATION SERGEANT:

MAN IN MACKINTOSH:

STATION SERGEANT:

MAN IN MACKINTOSH:

STATION SERGEANT:

(The policemen walk in with the DOCTOR.)

FIRST POLICEMAN:

STATION SERGEANT:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

DOCTOR:

(to MAN IN MACKINTOSH)

MAN IN MACKINTOSH:

DOCTOR:

MAN IN MACKINTOSH:

STATION SERGEANT:

MAN IN MACKINTOSH:

8. TARDIS EXTERIOR-AN ENGLISH STREET

(STEVEN peeks his head out of the TARDIS to see what is outside. He sees the policemen in their uniforms and the DOCTOR inside the police station.)

9. DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR'S OFFICE

(The DOCTOR is in the Inspector's office where the policemen have led him to be questioned.)

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

DOCTOR:

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

DOCTOR:

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

DOCTOR:

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

DOCTOR:

(laughing)

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

DOCTOR:

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

DOCTOR:

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

DOCTOR:

SECOND POLICEMAN:

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

10. TARDIS EXTERIOR-AN ENGLISH STREET

(STEVEN emerges from the TARDIS dressed as a policeman, presumably after having found a uniform inside the TARDIS wardrobe room somewhere. He turns and heads to the police station where the DOCTOR was taken.)

11. POLICE STATION INTERIOR

MAN IN MACKINTOSH:

STATION SERGEANT:

MAN IN MACKINTOSH:

STATION SERGEANT:

(THE SERGEANT sees STEVEN enter the police station.)

STATION SERGEANT: Oh. here, just a minute.

          STEVEN: Ah. . Excuse me.
          STATION SERGEANT: Ah. You must be the new bloke from G Division, come to help us out.
          STEVEN: I... I beg your pardon?
          STATION SERGEANT: I said you must be the new bloke from G Division.
          STEVEN: Must I? Oh! Oh, yes. Yes, that's right. Um. Yeah, I've... ah... I've called about the old man.
          STATION SERGEANT: Old man? What old man?
          STEVEN: Well, he was brought in here a minute ago.
          STATION SERGEANT: Oh, he's with the C.I.D. You'd better wait until they're finished with him.
          STEVEN: Fine, yeah. Well, I've got to get to him.
          STATION SERGEANT: Well, you'll have to wait, lad. He'll be out here again soon. Now wait over there.
          MAN IN MACKINTOSH: Now, what about my greenhouse?
          STATION SERGEANT: Oh, yes. Now where was it you said?
          MAN IN MACKINTOSH: Well, for a start, it's not in me garden.

12. DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR'S OFFICE

DOCTOR: I don't think you really understand. That object in the yard out there isn't really a police box.
DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR: No. No, of course it's not. It's a new Brighton Ferry.
DOCTOR: It is a machine for investigating Time and Relative Dimensions in Space. Hmm, hmm.
SECOND POLICEMAN: (to the DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR) He's a nutter.
DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR: He's straight from a funny-farm, if you ask me.
DOCTOR: Do I take it that you gentlemen are imputing that I am mentally deranged, hmm, hmm? Hmm.
SECOND POLICEMAN: I told you. He's a nutter.
DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR: Was he the only bloke in the box?
FIRST POLICEMAN: Well, how should I know?
DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR: Well didn't you check? There might be a whole army of (stutters) them in there, living like gypsies in one of Her Majesty's police telephone boxes!

SECOND POLICEMAN: And just how many people do you expect to come out of one box?

13. TARDIS EXTERIOR-AN ENGLISH STREET

(SARA exits the TARDIS and looks around.)

SARA:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SARA:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

(Children start to sing Christmas carols in the background. They might be singing "Good King Wenceslaus looked out, on the feast of Steven...")

SARA:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SARA:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SARA:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SARA:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SARA:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SARA:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SARA:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SARA:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SARA:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

(The Christmas carol singing in the background ends as the policeman watches SARA walk away.)

FIRST POLICEMAN:

(Slowly walking away SARA thinks out loud to herself.)

SARA:

14. POLICE STATION INTERIOR

STATION SERGEANT:

(The DOCTOR is escorted out of the DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR's Office into the station. STEVEN rushes over to him.)

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

(quietly to the DOCTOR)

DOCTOR:

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

(to STEVEN)

(The DOCTOR coughs, possibly signaling STEVEN)

STEVEN:

STATION SERGEANT:

STEVEN:

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

STEVEN:

(feigning surprise)

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

STEVEN:

(STEVEN crosses over to the DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR and speaks to him quietly aside.)

STEVEN:

DETECTIVE-INSPECTOR:

STEVEN:

(to DOCTOR)

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

STATION SERGEANT:

(In the police station, everyone starts to talk as the DOCTOR and STEVEN walk to the station door. The DOCTOR can be heard giggling as he and STEVEN exit the police station followed by the policemen.)

15. TARDIS EXTERIOR-AN ENGLISH STREET

(Voices from inside the police station can be heard. SARA climbs down from a ladder which is placed against the back of the TARDIS.)

SECOND POLICEMAN:

(The group continues to talk all at the same time.)

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

(The policeman walks over holding onto SARA's arm.)

SECOND POLICEMAN:

SARA:

STEVEN:

STATION SERGEANT:

STEVEN:

SARA:

(SARA pulls free of the policeman, knocking the policeman over.)

SARA:

(SARA, STEVEN and the DOCTOR run to the TARDIS, and quickly get inside slamming the doors behind them. The TARDIS dematerializes as the policemen recover.)

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SECOND POLICEMAN:

FIRST POLICEMAN:

SECOND POLICEMAN:

16. TARDIS INTERIOR

STEVEN:

(to SARA)

DOCTOR:

(to STEVEN)

DOCTOR:

(to SARA)

SARA:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

SARA:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

(motioning)

(The DOCTOR clears his throat.)

SARA:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

SARA:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

SARA:

DOCTOR:

(The DOCTOR checks the TARDIS console.)

DOCTOR:

(The DOCTOR flips the scanner switch revealing on the scanner screen an evil looking man with long black mustache busily tying a young girl to a log with a piece of rope. The log is slowly moving towards a huge revolving saw wheel. The woman screams!)

DOCTOR:

17. TARDIS EXTERIOR-OLD BARN SET, 1920s

(The room the TARDIS stands in is an old logging and saw company barn with wooden walls and interior. The woman screams as the mustached man taunts her. Piano music fills the air.)

BLOSSOM LEFAVRE:

(screaming)

DARCY TRANTON:

BLOSSOM LEFAVRE:

(screaming)

DARCY TRANTON:

(STEVEN and SARA exit the TARDIS suprised by the sight.)

BLOSSOM LEFAVRE:

(screaming)

STEVEN:

(to the mustached man)

(STEVEN runs over and starts to losen the woman's ropes.)

BLOSSOM LEFAVRE:

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

BLOSSOM LEFEVRE:

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

(pointing to STEVEN and the DOCTOR)

(The studio is full of noise as the actress continues to cry and the film crew chases STEVEN and SARA from the set. The various people present all talk over each other. To escape the mayhem, STEVEN punches two of the men closing in on them and SARA punches another before they can be detained. The group rush off as STEVEN adds a punch to the resulting melee before they get clear.)

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

(to STEVEN and SARA)

(to the remaining actors and crew)

BLOSSOM LEFAVRE:

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

DARCY TRANTON:

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

(to a crewman)

DARCY TRANTON:

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

DARCY TRANTON:

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

DARCY TRANTON:

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

DARCY TRANTON:

(The screen is filled with a full screen caption, written in the style of old fashioned silent films. Accompanied by piano cliffhanger-esque music, it reads...)

AND SO THE HUNT WAS ON...
(The caption disappears and the action returns to...)

18. STUDIO WARDROBE ROOM

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

(STEVEN and the DOCTOR duck into the studio wardrobe room to hide.)

(The screen is filled with a full screen caption, written in the style of old fashioned silent films. Accompanied by Middle Eastern sounding piano music, it reads...)

MEANWHILE IN THE SHEIKH'S TENT...
(The caption disappears and the action returns to...)

19. SHEIK'S TENT SET

(SARA hides.)

ARAB SHEIK:

INGMAR KNOPF:

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:

(other words are drowned out as he continues the stage instructions)

INGMAR KNOPF:

VAMP:

ARAB SHEIK:

(Steinberger P. Green enters set.)

STEINBERGER P. GREEN: Iggy. Iggy! Did you see them?
INGMAR KNOPF: Who? Who?
STEINBERGER P. GREEN: A guy and a gal. They just beat the living daylights out of my camera crew. It was great!
INGMAR KNOPF: Perhaps you like your film interrupted, but I do not. Please do not interrupt me when I am creating.
__?__: (obviously saying Mr. Knopf's name wrong in an American accent) Mr. Ke-noff? Mr. Ke-noff?
INGMAR KNOPF: (correcting the stagehand with the German pronunciation) Knopf. Ingmar Knopf.
__?__: (Now saying the name properly) Mr. Knopf. Ah, Professor Webster's here, sir.
INGMAR KNOPF: Ah, good. Send him to me at once. I need him in this next scene.

?: Yes,Sir.
STEINBERGER P. GREEN: You should have seen him! He was great! Bigger than Fairbanks! I've got to find a name for him! Something suave!
INGMAR KNOPF: No please, no please, do whatever you like, but leave me alone! Get off my set! I'm trying to make a film!

(There is much more busy conversation noise in the studio. KNOPF sees SARA.)

INGMAR KNOPF: Who's this girl? If she's one of the harem, why is she wearing that extraordinary clothing? Tell her to get them off!

Send her to wardrobe!

(The screen is filled with a full screen caption, written in the style of old fashioned silent films. Accompanied by dramatic piano music, it reads...)

MEANWHILE IN THE WARDROBE DEPARTMENT
(The caption disappears and the action returns to...)

20. STUDIO WARDROBE ROOM

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

(The DOCTOR walks off looking for SARA. A moment later a man in a police uniform walks up to STEVEN.)

KEYSTONE COP:

STEVEN:

KEYSTONE COP:

STEVEN:

(screams)

STEVEN

(oov)

(STEVEN is befriended by a group of Keystone cops who take him and pull him onto their car. They start it up and drive it around out of control. The Keystone cops car honks its horn twice as STEVEN is thrown around on the set. As soon as the shot is over STEVEN jumps off the car and runs away off the set.)

CAMERAMAN:

(The screen is filled with a full screen caption, written in the style of old fashioned silent films. Accompanied by Middle Eastern-styled piano music, it reads...)

MEANWHILE BACK IN THE SHEIKH'S TENT...
(The caption disappears and the action returns to...)

21. SHEIK'S TENT SET

ARAB SHEIK:

INGMAR KNOPF:

(More crew members start talking on the set.)

INGMAR KNOPF:

ARAB SHEIK:

INGMAR KNOPF:

(correcting his pronunciation)

ARAB SHEIK:

VAMP:

ARAB SHEIK:

(Background voices are heard as the DOCTOR enters)

INGMAR KNOPF: (to the DOCTOR) Professor Webster! Where have you been all this time?
DOCTOR: Hmm?
INGMAR KNOPF: We've been waiting for you. As our expert on Arabian customs we need your help.
DOCTOR: Certainly, certainly. My help? Oh, I shall be delighted. Yes _____ _____ _____ _____.
INGMAR KNOPF: How very good Professor.
DOCTOR: Doctor, please.
INGMAR KNOPF: Oh, Doctor! Now this is, um, a rich Sheik's tent.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes. And who is this?

(the DOCTOR points to the Arabian dressed actress.)

INGMAR KNOPF:

DOCTOR:

(Lots of studio talking is taking place. Ingmar Knopf knocks on the dressing room door where SARA is inside. She reluctantly exits.)

INGMAR KNOPF:

(to SARA)

DOCTOR:

(to SARA)

INGMAR KNOPF:

(to the DOCTOR)

(The screen is filled with a full screen caption, written in the style of old fashioned silent films. Accompanied by dramatic piano music, it reads...)

BUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO STEVEN?
(The caption disappears and the action returns to...)

22. STUDIO WARDROBE ROOM

STEVEN:

SARA:

DOCTOR:

(The screen is filled with a full screen caption, written in the style of old fashioned silent films. Accompanied by mellow piano music, it reads...)

MEANWHILE, ALL WAS NOT WELL AT THE OLD BARN
(The caption disappears and the action returns to...)

23. TARDIS EXTERIOR-OLD BARN SET

(Lots of talking on the set)

STEINBERGER P. GREEN: ...sure, baby, sure. I know it was a bit of a shock.
BLOSSOM LEFAVRE: You're trying to get rid of me. You don't want me as your star any more.
STEINBERGER P. GREEN: Of course I do, baby. You're great. I don't want those kids for your kind of a picture.
BLOSSOM LEFAVRE: But, you said you were going to make him bigger than Fairbanks. I suppose you're going to make her bigger than....(She starts to cry)

STEINBERGER P. GREEN: No, honey, no. She's not that kind of girl. You're the one I'm gonna make great. Now look. You're gonna... You're gonna take one more take, huh. Please?
BLOSSOM LEFAVRE: Oh, all right. This will be the last time.
STEINBERGER P. GREEN: Sure, sure. Quiet everybody. Set up for a take!

(Someone blows a whistle in the background.)

__?__:

(background)

__?__:

(background, echoes down the line)

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

__?__:

(background)

(There is background shouting on the set as the DOCTOR, STEVEN and SARA return to the barn set. Seeing that they are wanted, SARA and STEVEN run off as stagehands follow them.)

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

__?__:

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

BLOSSOM LEFAVRE:

(The screen is filled with a full screen caption, written in the style of old fashioned silent films. Accompanied by piano chase music, and the sounds of the chase, it reads...)

THE CHASE WAS ON...
(The caption disappears, but the piano music continues as the action returns to...)

24. VARIOUS SETS IN THE STUDIO

(Various studio people chase SARA and STEVEN through the Hollywood studio. The whole scene is a slapstick chase that includes Keystone cops, a cowboy, a saloon bar girl, and even Charlie Chaplin.)

25. TARDIS EXTERIOR-OLD BARN SET

DOCTOR:

(yelling at STEVEN and SARA who run past)

CLOWN:

DOCTOR:

CLOWN:

DOCTOR:

CLOWN:

(There is more piano music as people run past chasing STEVEN and SARA. The whole scene is chaotic slapstick.)

26. SHEIK'S TENT SET

(STEVEN and SARA and their pursuers run through the Sheik's tent set interrupting the filming.)

INGMAR KNOPF:

(The screen is filled with a full screen caption, written in the style of old fashioned silent films. Accompanied by the continued piano music, it reads...)

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE TARDIS
(The caption and the piano music disappears and the action returns to...)

27. TARDIS EXTERIOR-OLD BARN SET

(The DOCTOR and the CLOWN continue to talk, on the old barn set where the TARDIS had materialized.)

CLOWN:

DOCTOR:

CLOWN:

(joined by the DOCTOR)

DOCTOR:

(together with the CLOWN)

28. SHEIK'S TENT SET

__?__:

INGMAR KNOPF:

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

INGMAR KNOPF:

(One can hear the whistles of the Keystone cops in the background as the conversation continues.)

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

INGMAR KNOPF:

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

INGMAR KNOPF:

29. TARDIS EXTERIOR-OLD BARN SET

CLOWN:

DOCTOR:

CLOWN:

DOCTOR:

CLOWN:

DOCTOR:

CLOWN:

DOCTOR:

(STEVEN and SARA run past.)

STEVEN:

(The DOCTOR, STEVEN and SARA dash into the TARDIS and dematerialize as everyone pursuing them from the Hollywood studio rushes back onto the old mill set talking and yelling.)

BLOSSOM LEFAVRE:

(There is lots of talking and confusion on the set.)

STEINBERGER P. GREEN:

(More and more screaming continues on the set as the crew members debate the disappearance of the TARDIS crew.)

INGMAR KNOPF:

PROF. WEBSTER:

INGMAR KNOPF:

PROF. WEBSTER:

(All the crewmembers on the whole set go quiet.)

INGMAR KNOPF:

PROF. WEBSTER:

INGMAR KNOPF:

(The screen is filled with a full screen caption, written in the style of old fashioned silent films. Accompanied by piano music, it reads...)

AND SO THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
(The caption disappears and the action returns to...)

30. TARDIS INTERIOR

SARA:

STEVEN:

SARA:

STEVEN:

SARA:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

SARA:

DOCTOR:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

SARA:

STEVEN:

DOCTOR:

(STEVEN and SARA raise their glasses.)

STEVEN:

(with SARA as the DOCTOR says "happy")

SARA:

(with STEVEN as the DOCTOR says "happy")

DOCTOR:

(The series theme music begins. White credits scroll up over the ending scene. The scene fades to a black background as the white credits continue to scroll up.)

Dr. Who
WILLIAM HARTNELL

Steven
PETER PURVES

Sara
JEAN MARSH

Station Sergeant
CLIFFORD EARL

First Policeman
NORMAN MITCHELL

Second Policeman
MALCOLM ROGERS

Detective-Inspector
KENETH THORNETT

Man in Mackintosh
REG PRITCHARD

Blossom Lefavre
SHEILA DUNN

Darcy Tranton
LEONARD GRAHAME

Steinberger P. Green
ROYSON TICKNER

Ingmar Knopf
MARK ROSS

Assistant Director
CONRAD MONK

Arab Sheik
DAVID JAMES

Vamp
PAULA TOPHAM

Clown
ROBERT G. JEWELL

Professor Webster
ALBERT BARRINGTON

Prop Man
BUDDY WINDRUSH

Cameraman
STEVE MACHIN

Fight Arranger
DEREK WARE

Title Music by
RON GRAINER
and the BBC
RADIOPHONIC WORKSHOP

Incidental Music Composed by
TRISTRAM CARY

Designer
RAYMOND CUSICK

(After the designer credit rolls up and off the black screen, the producer credit fades in.)

Producer
JOHN WILES

(The producer credit fades out. The director credit and BBC logo fade in.)

Directed by
DOUGLAS CAMFIELD

BBC tv 1965

(The BBC logo fades out to the black background. The series theme music ends.)