by Alstair D. Williamson
George Campbell, asistant vice president in mergers and acquisitions at Kirkham McDowell Securities, a St. Louis underwriting and financial advisory firm, looked up as Adam Lawson, one of his most promising associates, entered his office. Adam, 29 years old, had been with the firm for only two years but had already distinguished himself as having great potential. Recently, he had helped to bring in an extremely lucrative deal, and in six weeks, he and several other associates would be honored for their efforts at the firm's silver anniversary dinner.
As Adam closed the door and sat down, he said, "George, I'd lioke to talk to you about the banquet. I've thought about this caefully, and I want you to know that I plan to bring my partner, Robert Collins, as my escort."
George was taken aback. "Well, Adam," he said, " I don't quite know what to say. I have to be honest with you; I'm a little suprised. I had no idea that you were gay. I would never have guessed." He looked at Adam for clues on how to proceed: his subordinate did seem nervous but not defiant or hostile.
Though only a 50-person operation, Kirkham McDowell had long since securerd its status as one of the region's leading corporate financial advisors. The firm's client roster included established and successful regional companies as well as one of the country's largest defense contractors, a very conserative company for which the firm managed part of an impressive pension portfolio. Represenatives of Kirkham McDowell's major clients and many of the area's most influencial political and business leaders were expected to attend the banquet. All this raced through George's mind as he asked Adam, "Why do you want to do this? Why do you wnat to mix your personal and professional lives?"
"For the same reason that you bring your wife to company social events," Adam replied.
A look of confusion flickered across George’s face while Adam continued. "Think about it for a moment, George. Success in this business depends in great part on the relationships you develop with your clients and the people you work with. An important part of those relationships is letting people know about your life away from the office, and that includes the people that are important to you. Some of the other associates already know Robert. Whenever his schedule permits, he accompanies me when I’m invited by one of my colleagues to have dinner with his or her spouse. Granted, that isn’t very often-Robert is a corporate attorney, and his work is very demanding-but he joins me whenever he can."
"But, Adam, a wife isn’t the same thing as a-"
"It is the same thing, George. Robert and I have made a commitment to each to her. We have been together for almost five years now, and I would feel very uncomfortable telling him that I was going to a major social event alone-on a weekend no less."
"Well, I’m sure you’d agree that it wouldn’t be appropriate for an associate to bring a date- someone he barely knows- to such an event."
"Come on, George. I think you know me well enough to realize that I have better judgement than that. If Robert and I had know each other for only six months, I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you right now. But, as I said, we’ve been together for over five years!"
George thought for a moment. "Adam," he said slowly, "I’m just not sure you should try to make an issue of this at such an important time for the company. Why bring it up now? Think of our clients. We work with some very conservative companies. They could very we decide to give their business to a firm whose veiws seem to agree more with their own. You’re not just making a personal statement here. You’re saying something about the culture of Kirkham McDowell, something that some of our clients might fundamentally oppose. How are they going to react?"
Adam leaned forward. "This is only an issue if people make it an issue," he said. " I have resolved never to lie about myself or about anything that is important to me- and that includes my sexuality. Since I joined the firm, as I’ve become comfortable sharing details of my personal life with certain colleagues, I’ve come out to them and often introduced them to Robert. If people ask me if I am gay, I’m honest with them. Likewise, if people ask me if I have a girlfriend, I tell them about my relationship with Robert. With the silver anniversary celebration coming up, I thought the time was right to speak with you. This is the first large social event the company has held since I started working here, I’ve decided that I need to be as opne at the banquet as I have tried to be in other areas within the orgenization.
"It’s not a decision that I’ve taken lightly. I’ve seen what has happened to some of my gay friends who have come out at work. Even at much less conservative companies, some are never invited to important social events with colleagues and customers, no matter how much business they bring in. They’ll never know whether or not their bonuses have been affected by prejudice related to their sexuality. I know my career could be adversly influenced by this decision, but I believe that my work should stand on its own merits. George, I’ve been a top contributor at this firm since I walked in the door. I hope I can rely on you to back me up in this."
Adam stood up but waited for George to reply. "You’ve given me a lot to think about," George said. "And I don’t want to say anything until I’ve had a chance to consider all the implications. I appreciate the confidence you’ve shown in me by being so open. I wish I had something conclusive to say at this point, but the fact of the matter is that I have never had to face this issue before. I am one of your biggest supporters here at the firm. Your work has been exemplary. And, until today, I would have said that you could look forward to a very successful career here. But I’m concerned about how this will play with our clients and, as a result, about how senior management will react. I personally don’t have any problems with your being gay, but I’d hate to see you torpedo your career over this. It’s possible that this could jeopardize some of our relationships with significant clients. Let me think about it for a few days. We can have lunch next week and map out a strategy."
After Adam left his office, George sat in silence for a few minutes, trying to make sense of the conversation. He was unsure of his next move. Adam clearly had not come into his office looking for permission to bring his lover to the banquet. George realized that he could do nothing and let events simply unfold. After all, Adam had not asked that Robert be included in his benefits coverage nor had he requested a specific managerial decision. There was no aompany policy on paper to guide him throught this dilemma. But Adam wouldn’t have come to him if he hadn’t wanted a response of some kind. And shouldn’t he at least tell his superior in order to head off any awkward moments at the banquet?
Just how negative an effect could Robert have on Adam’s career with the firm and on the firm’s relationship with it’s clients? Wasn’t it possible, even likely, that the party would come off without incident? That the issue would blow over? That even the firm’s most conservative clients wouldn’t realize the significance of Adam’s guest or would somply decide that it was a personal issue, not a business one? Or would George’s worst fears be realized? Adam had to recognize that the potential risks were great. It was one thing for him to come out of the closet at the office. But wasn’t he pushing things too far?
Alstair D. Williamson is an editor at the Harvard Business School
Press. His aquisitions interests include managing in the diverse workplace.
HBR’s cases are derived from the experiences of real companies and
real people. As written, they are hypothetical, and the names used are
fictional.